Wednesday, August 27, 2008

An Extremely Pointless Dream About T-Shirts


ADVANCE APOLOGIES: This dream is so pointless you'll wonder why I even wrote it down. Read the post just below this one if you want an exciting dream!

I was out with M. and C., much as was really the case the preceding night, only now I had on a Superman T-shirt. It was brown, with a rather old-school image of Superman from the waist up, arms crossed. There was some supposedly humorous phrase beneath him.

Then I remember being at home and I had more T-shirts in my possession. One was a Spider-Man was the same color of brown as the Superman shirt, but it featured the black Spider-Man (comic book version, not movie), and naturally he didn't really show up well against the brown.

Then I had a gray T-shirt with the animated versions of Doc and Marty from the Back to the Future cartoon. The art was only lineart with no color. It had the BTTF logo at the top, and at the bottom it said, "1.21 gigawatts?!" I was so excited about this particular shirt!

In the House of the Sickly Lady


I was driving in the middle of the night on a fairly desolate, winding road. I had a video camera in the car, and I was vaguely aware of being on assignment for my job to go get some footage of something.

I came up to a small, solitary church at the top of a hill. I got out of my car and looked around. I specifically remember staring at the moon, which was extremely bright in its fullness. It was a beautiful, clear night, but eerie in it's emptiness.

There was a garage on the side of the church, and it was obvious there was some life in there, so I knocked on the door. A crotchety older man in dirty mechanic's coveralls answered me. I told him I was here to get some footage. He was reluctant to give me entrance, but he let me step in the doorway and told me to wait while he "went and checked on something". He disappeared through a door in the back of the room.

Moments later, a woman emerged from the door. She looked to be about 40, and she was alarmingly frail and sickly in appearance. Her complexion was pale to the point of looking gray, her shortish hair was stringy and limp, and her eyes had dark, sad bags beneath them. She wore an old tank top and flannel sleep pants. There was a trace about her of someone who was once pretty, before whatever happened to bring her to her current state.

The woman led me into her home, which was located behind the mechanic's garage I had first entered through. It looked very old, with wood panel walls and shag carpets being among the decor. The place was a general mess.

The woman's demeanor was as depressing as her appearance, and she just kept telling me she was glad I had come. She didn't get visitors. Not since..."the sickness", whatever it was. Everything about the situation I now found myself in seemed wrong. I knew I needed to get out of there at once.

I began making excuses as to why I needed to leave, but the lady told me I could not, or at least not so soon. I protested as politely as I could, but she wouldn't hear it. She implored me to at least meet her dog first. She opened her back door and a large black lab bounded in. It happily jumped up on me, tail wagging and tongue licking wildly. The dog's gentle and friendly nature did much to ease my nerves, but I still didn't want to be in the place.

The lady excused herself for a moment and left me with the dog. I thought this was my chance to escape, so I made for the back door. The dog blocked my way. No matter how I tried to reach the door, the dog always positioned itself to block me...though its tell kept wagging and it seemed to still be happy. I didn't want to make for the door too forcefully for fear of arousing aggression in the animal.

Suddenly the TV set (an older model) clicked on behind me. I turned to see the woman on the screen. She began reminding me that she told me I couldn't leave. As she spoke, the dog growled lowly beside me. I can't remember all of the woman's speech, but she just kept going on an on, with increasing frustration, about all her reasons why I had to stay.

Suddenly, her eyes went totally black, and her jaws seemed to unhinge as her mouth flung open into an impossibly wide scream. The dog began viciously barking. In my state of abject horror I saw that the woman's canine teeth were long fangs. A vampire.

I immediately woke up with my heart pounding so hard I thought I could feel every vein in my body.

Later, after going back to sleep, I remember a brief dream of being in a grocery store with Richard. I saw a magazine on the rack and the vampire woman (in her normal, sickly state) was on the cover. I thought for a moment, "I thought that was just a dream..." but for some reason her appearance here didn't really alarm me.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Dirty Broom


I was at work and my boss told me whenever I had a minute I needed to go to the storage area and clean one of our brooms. I thought this was a very unusual request, but I did as was asked. The broom had a red handle, and the brush part of it was completely caked up with dirt, to the point that it looked more like a stick with a dirt clod on the end of it.

I took the dirty broom outside, where there was a driveway just like you'd find at someone's home. Another employee was washing his own truck in this driveway, and we spoke as I came by with the broom. I began beating it against the pavement, shattering the dirt clod into shards. It was almost fun.

There was a brick wall beside the driveway nearly as tall as I, with a chain link fence running along the top of it. This wall/fence combo contained a grouping of metal bleachers. In the distance behind all of this, you could see a college campus.

A pretty, blonde girl dressed in a Victorian era dress was pacing back and forth between these bleachers. She was reading to herself from a piece of paper in an English accent. I was somehow instantly smitten with this image, and dropped everything to watch her intently.

Suddenly the girl was no longer Victorian, but was dressed as Alice from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. This change was not thought strange in the dream, as I simply assumed I'd seen her wrong the first time. Then, just as suddenly, the girl was now brunette and was dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Only it was kind of a sexied-up Dorothy costume. No matter her appearance, the girl was always reading aloud from her paper while pacing.

By now I realized she was an actress, preparing for her role in a play the college would be putting on. I went to see the play with some friend (I can't remember who).

The opening of the play featured a little boy dressed as the White Rabbit (we're back on Alice in Wonderland stuff now). Before the boy took the stage, the director stopped and told the audience the boy had won the role because he could do "the voice" so well. The boy began talking in some weird, cartoony voice. I thought, "I can do that voice...maybe I should be doing this instead of him!"

Then the boy morphed into a cartoon character that looked somewhat like Mickey Mouse, and by this point...alarm clock.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

That Dog and Cat Cartoon *PLUS* The Holo-Fish


I was at some sort of comic convention. I remember vaguely looking around at different booths and picking up free stuff, etc. Then I remember being in some room going through a box of comic books. The room looked vaguely like my friend Richard's little girl's room.

I found some comic book about a dog and cat (I can't remember the name of it). My friend Eric was there and I asked him if he'd ever seen these characters. He said he hadn't, so I told him he was missing out and needed to see it. Even though it was a comic book I was originally holding in my hand, I now started playing a movie about the dog and cat. (Also, as soon as the movie started it's like we were screening the movie with a small crowd at the comic convention).

The opening of the movie was very arty and surreal animation featuring the dog and cat characters continually morphing in and out of form in paint on canvas or something like that. Then movie itself featured a live action cat and dog.

The cat was asleep on the bed. Then you heard the dog yelling from another room for it to wake up and help him with the chores. The cat groggily roused itself from bed and walked across the room to a large, decorative tin (the kind of gift tin you might buy caramel popcorn in around the holidays or something). The cat climbed inside and closed the lid, in order to continue sleeping undetected and avoid chores. The dog came in and couldn't find the cat until it became apparent the cat was now stuck in the tin and he had to rescue it. For some reason the fact that these were real, trained animals with voice overs made it so funny.

Then there was a second cartoon in which the dog and cat were fully animated. It looked a lot like Ren & Stimpy, but the dog's voice was unmistakably that of Strong Bad from He went on a rant about summer movies, and then held up a blue piece of paper with a list of his ideas for upcoming blockbusters on it. I remember Strong Bad's voice reading one of them and saying, "And of course we cannot forget...The Dark-Verine!" And he showed a crudely drawn Batman insignia with Wolverine's three claws extending from it. Again, I laughed so hard at this for some reason, as did everyone in the screening room. The sound of everyone's laughter was still ringing in my ears when I woke up.

I am a nerd.


I was in what looked like one of the bedrooms I had during childhood. I went into the closet (the closet in this room, while not huge, was fairly spacious) where I found whole new room with several aquariums. Most, if not all, of them were salt water tanks, and they were filled with the most beautiful fish. There was a second, smaller room attached to this larger one, and it had a couple more tanks in it.

Then I noticed what appeared to be a fish swimming around in mid air near the corner of the room. Upon closer examination, I noticed there was a little device on the ground that was projecting a lifelike hologram of a fish that only made it look as though it were swimming in the air. If I watched it long enough, I could see were the image skipped a tad when it looped. I thought this was so cool, and I wanted one of my own.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

My Ears Hear V's and Bees


I was in a dining area that looked a lot like the inside of a popular local seafood restaurant, except that part of it was an open-air patio. Many people were gathered there for some type of awards show.

The emcee announced the nominees in the "best actress in a (something)" category. He named four fictional women, and three of the four of them had first and last names that started with the letter V. I can't remember the actual names now, but I thought how strange it was to have so many obscure "V" names in the same category.

I wandered over to one area where I saw one of the "V" actresses in question. She was, not surprisingly, dressed in a nice formal dress (mostly white with gold trim) and was quite attractive (her legs, especially). She noticed me and spoke politely. It struck me as a bit odd that she seemed entirely detached from the whole awards ceremony, even though she might possibly be on the verge of winning one. I felt a little bit ashamed, because traditionally I had disliked this actress, but now in person she was so pretty and seemed so nice that I felt my opinion must change.

Then suddenly a bee flew into my ear. I began the delicate balancing act of freaking out while trying to appear to remain calm. Desperately trying not to upset the bee to the point that it would sting me, I ran to the open patio area in my attempts to remove it. It was tickling like crazy and I kept expecting to feel the sting. Someone else (possibly that actress) came out with me and was trying to help dislodge the unwelcome visitor. At this point I remember vaguely waking up a little and going right back to sleep. Hopefully nothing was really in my ear.