Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Harley & Ivy on Campus


I remember signing up for a class at a fictional local college. Eric was going to attend with me. We arrived on campus one day to find it unusually empty. As we traversed the sidewalk between two buildings, we came upon two girls who were fighting.

Rather than attempt to stop the fight, we just watched. And it wasn't a "sexy" girl fight, but a real, genuine, nasty fight. One girl was shorter, with auburn colored hair and the other was slightly taller with blonde hair. It occurred to me that the girls looked and acted a little like the Batman villains Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn in street clothes. This being a dream, they more or less took on those personae after this point.

Before we got to class, I remember a professor stopping us and telling us that he was a professional dog trainer who would be offering classes. I told him I didn't have a dog, but my parents' had just gotten a new puppy (which is true). When he found out their dog was a cockapoo, he explained to me that they were supposedly very smart and trainable, and recommended I attend the class for free.

I vaguely remember entering the huge classroom, which was mostly full. The seats and desks were in the elevated "stadium" style, and I had to sit in the floor near the top. Even then, people were still filing in.

My next clear memory is after the class. Eric and I were in some kind of gift shop on campus. I heard a commotion and found the "Posion Ivy" and "Harley Quinn" girl were in a new argument. Ivy was trying to apologize for the earlier fight, but Harley wouldn't have it. She pointed out that Ivy was holding a silver hammer, and she didn't trust her, though Ivy swore the hammer wasn't for her.

Harley grabbed the hammer away from Ivy and walked over to return it to some nearby shelves where many types of tools and hardware were displayed for sale. Ivy sneaked up behind her, grabbed a length of chain from the shelves, and suddenly began choking her with it!

About this time Eric walked up, trying to tell me something. I just shushed him and directed his attention to the nearby commotion.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Artistic Insecurity


This dream is the most transparent manifestation of my creative insecurities that one could ever imagine. I'm sharing it anyway.

Someone was publishing a book of cartoon pin-up art which would consist of submissions received from various cartoonists on the internet. One of the art communities I take part in heavily promoted it, so I sent in three different submissions, hoping one might make the book.

I received confirmation that indeed all three of my submissions would be used! I felt very happy. I remember going to a bookstore inside a mall to purchase my copy the day it was published. The clerk behind the counter said something snarky when I told him I had work in the book, but I can't remember what.

Then I sat down and looked through the book. I recognized many of the artists whose illustrations were featured. I found the three I had drawn, only to realize they had been re-drawn by another artist. The concept and general composition were the same as what I'd turned in, and indeed I had been credited for the ideas in their respective descriptions, but a much better artist had re-drawn it. Every single other piece of art in the book had been drawn by its original artist. How discouraging.

There was another part of this dream where I was walking a track at dawn, much as I usually do, only this track was sort of an amalgamation of all the ones I normally go to. There were one or two other people on the track as well. In real life, I only walk, but in the dream, I started jogging. I was amazed that I was holding up really well, and could keep jogging for many laps without a break.

There was a house across the street with an old man sitting on the porch. He began shouting out at the joggers and walkers, mocking us all.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Crick Circle


There was an old, dirt road out in the woods. It came out in a sort of open field where it circled into a cul-de-sac. Around this cul-de-sac were a small handful of old, colonial-style houses. The whole area felt so ancient and deserted.

Some friends and I had parked our cars outside and were exploring one of the houses. There were a lot of random items inside, as though this had once been a general store or something similar. I specifically remember there were a lot of old, creepy toys.

At one point I took out my phone and was skimming Twitter. I saw a Twitter post from twitter-comedian Kelly Oxford that simply read, "I HATE Crick Circle." I immediately recognized that "Crick Circle" was the name of the dirt road these old houses were on. She'd attached a picture to the tweet which showed the outside of the very house my friends and I were in.

This creeped me out well and proper, but for some reason I stayed in the house, now trying to take pictures of things to tweet about it. I remember on old, tin "Snoopy" toy that started to move on it's own as I tried to get a good picture of it. Scary.

In a different dream I was dating a girl. I remember bits of an awkward date in which we attended a local, live show. There were folding chairs all over the room, but for some reason the two of us kept getting up and trying to find new seats in a different area. We were never satisfied with our seats. We ended up outside, standing beside one of our cars, talking.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011



I arrived to work one morning with a biscuit I had purchased for breakfast. I was really anxious to eat it, but for some reason kept getting distracted by things that demanded my attention and kept having to put it off.

My boss was telling me we needed to schedule singers to come sing Christmas music. Then I was in a room where author Neil Gaiman was supposed to come and introduce some new cartoon based on his work. I was very excited about this, and couldn't believe I'd not heard of it before now.

Next I remember watching what was supposedly an old tape of a failed pilot for a 90's sitcom. It was called "Forgetting (girl's name--can't remember what)". Henry Winkler had a cameo in the pilot. The show was really bad, but had such a feeling of sincere earnestness that I felt kind of sad that it had never been picked up.

As I watched this pilot, I realized I'd never had my biscuit. Now it was almost lunchtime.

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Strangely Religous Restaurant


Eric and I were seated at a table in some sort of small-but-fancy-looking restaurant. The character Daryl from The Office (or perhaps just actor who plays him) was sitting at the table closest to us. He began reading Christmas-related scriptures from an ornate Bible.

As he read, I walked up to a buffet line to get food. There was all types of food on the buffet, mostly American, home-style things. I noticed there was graffiti in one place on the sneeze-guard. It said something about the need for "Americans" to get along with Muslims.

A lady, much like a typical high school "lunch room lady" plopped a big wad of pizza-like substance on my tray and I returned to me seat. On my way back by, I noticed that "Daryl's" table held, in addition to his ornate Bible, many books about Wicca, and other spiritual tomes.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Stealing Annie


This dream will be nearly impossible to explain, as it only works in the world of dream logic. But I will try my best.

I either lived or was staying in a very old house in the older, "downtown" part of some city. There was a similar house next door, and the two were connected by some sort of screened-in porch that served as a sort of vestibule between the two.

One night I was all alone in the house, and it felt rather creepy. I recall stepping out onto the screened in porch and watching the dark city streets around me, only the occasional car driving past.

I looked through the windowed door into the house next door. The house was being used by the city as some sort of art museum, but I don't think it was currently open to the public. It very much had an "under construction" appearance. The room I could see into was some sort of lobby, which looked entirely empty and dark. Over by a window, I could see what looked like a doll.

Now, in real life, the TV show Community, of which I am a huge fan, aired a Christmas episode last year which was done entirely in stop-motion animation. I realized that the "doll" I could see was the puppet of the character, Annie, which was used in that episode.

For some reason I decided it would be no big deal for me to break into that room and take that prop for my own, so I pried open the door between my house and the museum and walked in. I realized there was a security camera, but I somehow was able to get past it. I felt very nervous when I got close the doll, because I thought a passing motorist could potentially see me from the street.

I don't remember what happened next, as my next memory is of being in a bedroom where two parents were putting their toddler-aged daughter to bed for the night. I noticed the same Community prop doll was lying beside the daughter's bed and I once again began devising a way I might could take it.

(I don't know what my obsession with this doll was in the dream. In real life the show has recently been placed on hiatus, which means there's a good chance it will be canceled. I am very passionate about this show, and want it to be saved. I think my obsession with stealing this prop in the dream may possibly be born of my desperate desire to save the show, in spite of the apparent wishes of those who control it.)

In a different dream, I was watching a movie. It was a western, and I think dream-me knew it to be directed by the Coen brothers. The opening scene featured a poetic monologue by a gritty cowboy. Then there was a scene in which Indians attacked the cowboys. The Indians were, however, dated, offensive caricatures. The battle, too, was over-the-top. It felt like watching a live-action Looney Tunes cartoon, except for there was blood and gore.

In a final dream, someone had told me I should design postcards to promote my art. For some reason I designed the card with a cartoon girl on one side and a cartoon horse on the other. My dad saw it and said, "This will make people who see it think of women in the mall." I replied, "Well, it will make of them think of horses in the mall, too."


The Dark-Haired Girl


I went on a date with a pretty, dark-haired girl. I only vaguely recall it, but I know it was somehow cut short, much to my disappointment. We scheduled another date, and my first clear memory is arriving to meet her for that excursion.

For some reason we'd agreed to meet at a convenience store/gas station, where one of us one of us would leave our car so we could ride together. I got there early and thought I'd have to wait a while for her to show, but she was already there. She got in my car and we were on our way. I remember her telling me about her day at work as we drove. We saw a movie and held hands during it.

Next I remember being at my parents' house in the guest room that I sleep in when I visit them, only it was as though I actually lived there and that was my bedroom. I was cleaning things in the room and putting clean sheets on the bed when suddenly the dark-haired girl showed up at the house.

She walked into my room and I was embarrassed because I hadn't expected her to come over at that time. I was completely unkempt, just wearing sloppy around-the-house clothes and a baseball cap that I had quickly thrown on to hide my "bed head". But then I noticed the girl was dressed in a very similar, sloppy manner and I didn't feel embarrassed anymore.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Dave's Anti-Pizza Campaign


I was in a crowded auditorium at some sort of conference. A speaker was announcing the winners of "last year's Create a Commercial contest". It turns out the winners were my friends and I.

Apparently we had conceived the winning idea the year before, and in the months since, a professional commercial had actually been produced from it. They debuted this commercial on a large screen on the stage.

The commercial featured Dave Thomas, founder of the Wend'ys restaurant chain, much as their ads really did when he was still alive. He was holding up a slice of pizza with a look of disgust and asking, "Why would anyone ever want to eat more than one piece of pizza? You'll want to eat more than one of our burgers!" My friend Eric and I, huge pizza enthusiasts, feigned incense when we heard him make this proclamation.

After the commercial was over, I remember a general sense of confusion as to how Dave Thomas, long dead, had appeared in this new ad. It didn't look like computer graphics, but we assumed surely it must be. The earlier suggestion that we had written the idea for all of this ourselves no longer seemed to play a part.

I vaguely recall another dream. A couple of friends and I were preparing to leave a They Might Be Giants concert late one night (I have no memory of the actual show in the dream). My car was one of the last ones in the parking lot outside the club they had apparently performed at. We were just sitting in it, not going anywhere for some reason.

Then we saw the band members step out of the club. They just stood on the sidewalk talking in the lamplight. At one point John Linnell approached our car and just nonchalantly got in the back seat. We then conducted a brief interview with him, as if for some sort of print publication. He then stepped out of the car and rejoined his band mates on the sidewalk. Even in the dream it felt rather bizarre.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Running On Air


Not to be gross, dear reader, but the dream started out with me in the bathroom. I twas very early in the morning and I was supposed to be getting ready for work. I was very concerned that being in the bathroom was going to run me late.

Indeed when I finally left the bathroom, I was quite late. For some reason I was literally running down an unkempt trail outdoors which I think was supposed to take me to work. I was wearing an orange vest-jacket like the one Marty McFly wears in the Back to the Future movies (I have one of those which I've worn as part of a costume before, so I guess this was supposed to be it).

The speeds at which I was running were insanely, inhumanly fast. So much so that, at one point, my vest jacket flew off of me. I quickly changed direction and turned back to retrieve it, but I was going so fast that I had already covered a huge distance since losing it.

As I ran back towards the jacket, my speed was so great that I began to lift off the ground. I was literally running on air. I found I had some degree of control over my flight, depending on exactly how hard I ran. It was such a freeing and exhilarating feeling.

I slowed down enough to float back to the earth and pick up my jacket. I don't remember much after this point, other than the euphoric feeling of being able to move so fast and to fly.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Celebrity Charity Benefit


Apparently the place where I work was hosting some sort of celebrity event to raise money for charity. We were going to be filming it and broadcasting it on TV. I remember the celebrities began to arrive and I, as my other responsibilities allowed, would help to greet them as they walked in the door.

At one point I remember greeting Tim Allen and Tom Hanks, which no doubt appeared in my dream due to my love of the Toy Story movies. Then someone came up to me and told me that Bill Murray had just arrived in the parking lot. This really excited me, and I hoped I'd get the chance to greet him and speak to him when he came inside. Because, let's face it, he's Bill Murray.

The person warned me that he did not like to be approached or addressed, so I shouldn't say anything to him unless he spoke first. Fortunately, I was at the door when he came in, and he shook my hand and spoke to me as he passed by. that was enough for me. I could say I'd shaken Bill Murray's hand, and I was happy.

I have very vague memories of seeing the actors on the stage hosting the event, touting whatever unspecified (or at least unremembered) charity this whole thing was for. Then I remember the event ending, and I went outside to where there was a huge gift shop.

Now I was with an ex girlfriend as we browsed the gift shop and we discussed the event we'd just seen. I remember seeing a lot of cool, vintage-looking Peanuts memorabilia in the store.

Somehow this part of the dream morphs into another dream in which I'm walking through a grocery store rather than a gift shop, and rather than being with an ex girlfriend, I'm with a fictional girl who is supposedly my new, current girlfriend.

I remember the two of us just filling up a shopping cart as we made our way through the store. When we left and went back outside, someone picked us up in a van. The girl and I sat in the back of the van and told the driver about a trip we were supposedly just now returning from, like we'd been on a vacation of sorts.

I was unpacking and organizing a duffel bag of belongings as we rode along. I had a T-shirt adorned with an illustrated graphic of the U.S. Constitution and a couple of other trinkets which were supposedly souvenirs from this trip.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Neil's Such a Drag


I vaguely recall watching a late night talk show on which author Neil Gaiman was making an appearance. For some reason, though, he was in full drag and acting very flamboyantly. It very much brought to mind Frank N. Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

There was some other dream in which I was dating a girl who was a fellow cartoonist like me. I think we'd met though the deviantART artist community. Things were going well. It seemed very vivid, though I can't recall much about it now.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Art Class Prison


There was a middle aged woman who taught a "continuing education" sort of art class at a college which my friend Eric and I were apparently attending. The teacher dressed really well, and seemed a little haughty and forceful in her manner.

The desks in the classroom were arranged so that certain ones were stacked on top of each other, like a sort of desk/bunk bed combo (it made sense in the dream). One of our fellow students was a flamboyant gay man who reminded me of Jim J. Bullock. This fellow was always dramatically complaining about everything.

For some reason the harsh teacher would not let any of us leave the classroom, claiming we were all her prisoners until so-and-so goals were reached. Tempers began to flair and students began to panic--especially the Jim J. Bullock guy. Somehow Eric and I found a way to blast a hole in the wall when the instructor wasn't looking, which gave us all a way to escape through the adjacent room. I can't really recall anything more.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Alien Invasion


I was eating lunch inside some small restaurant one afternoon with friends, Eric being the only one I can specifically recall. At one point a middle-aged man burst into the restaurant demanding we come outside and look. He seemed all in a panic.

In the parking lot, we looked up to see a UFO hovering in the sky. It was very clearly a spacecraft of some kind, and was near enough to the ground to appear quite large. We could hear the loud hum of its engines, and feel the ground vibrating around us.

At one point the image of the UFO began to sort of skip in and out, like bad reception on an old analog TV set. Then, suddenly, it winked out of view entirely, and all was silent again. It was a very eerie feeling. We all felt kind of scared.

I believe some more things happened in the dream, though my last clear memory is that my friends and I were looking up into the night sky later that evening, while still discussing the UFO. Suddenly, the skies lit up with laser beams blasting down the ground. The were all in the distance, so we weren't in any danger ourselves at the moment. But we could see huge explosions on the horizon where the beams were hitting. We knew the aliens were attacking earth now. It was fairly terrifying.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Really Big Leaves


Apparently my parents were packing to move from their house, although this house looked more like my grandmother's house. I was there helping them pack. The family dog, Einstein, was also there, though he passed away earlier this year in real life. He was running around sniffing things, and he eventually kept drawing our attention to something he smelled near one of the walls of the house. It turns out, there was a hidden crawlspace there were my parents had stored a lot of their old belongings. They had forgotten all about this space, but were exasperated with Einstein located it, because it meant even more things for them to pack for their move.

At some point I went outside and was walking in the yard. There was a tree with huge leaves--they looked like maple leaves, but they were huge. Each leaf was probably a good solid foot in circumference. The tree had normal-sized leaves interspersed with the large ones. I noticed that some of the big leaves even had darker spots in their color that were perfect silhouettes of the small leaves, as though the small leaves had shaded the sun from that place. Like removing a long-hanging pictured from a wall.

I went to find a camera to take a picture of the big leaves, but by the time I got around to trying, they were all brown and crisp, and most had fallen to the ground.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Imogen and Goldfrapp


Supposedly I filmed a local TV show in which Imogen Heap was the main guest. After the show, she invited my friend Eric and I to have lunch with her and we agreed. There was a little bit of time to kill before we'd be meeting for lunch, so Eric and I went to our respective homes to freshen up a bit.

While back at my apartment, I, for some reason, changed into a gaudy Hawaiian shirt with a Mickey Mouse pattern on it.

Then I arrived at Chick-fil-A, which is where Imogen had requested we all eat lunch! Eric wasn't there yet, so Imogen and I went ahead and ate and talked while we waited on him. She told me she liked the Mickey Mouse shirt, though the went on to inform me, in a rather grave manner, that I should normally never wear Hawaiian shirts (and in real life, I always heed this advice).

Eric was indeed very, very late. Eventually Imogen and I ran out of things to talk about and it started to feel awkward.

Then I have a memory of filming the same show from earlier in the dream, only now Alison Goldfrapp was the guest (must have been the night for female British musical artist cameos). During the interview, Goldfrapp announced it was time to release the birds.

The next thing I remember, a huge mass of birds was released from the studio into the sky outside. I stepped out into a little vestibule to discover that many of the birds and become stuck there and were in a panic. I opened all the doors and windows (apparently this was a vestibule with a lot of doors and windows) and tired to shoo them all out.

Once all the birds were free, I noticed the room I'd been in was actually someone's office. It was obvious from the decor that it was a police officer's office. I hoped I wasn't' in legal trouble for entering the office without permission or for the damage all the birds had done.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Hotel Chipmunk


I know my dreams are always weird, but the NyQuil I was taking for my cold at this time made them seem even more confusing and strange.

I was staying in a hotel with my parents. It was apparently a Sunday morning, and they were in church. I knew I was supposed to meet them in the hotel room and be ready to check out and leave as soon as they returned. A large portion of the dream consisted of me trying to make my way from my apartment to the hotel (why was I staying in a hotel with them if I was within driving distance from home, I'll never know). Every time I got to the hotel room I realized I'd forgotten to pack something. I'd have to go back, get the item, come back to the hotel, etc.

I vaguely recall what the hotel room looked like. It seemed fairly old and dilapidated. There was no wall separating it from the neighboring room; only a thin curtain. There was another family staying in that room, as was fairly easy to observe.

I in the hotel room packing some clothes into a suitcase when my mom returned. As she entered, she drew my attention to a network of wires and strings that criss-crossed each other along the ceiling. An improbably large chipmunk, more the size of a chinchilla, was scurrying to and fro on the wires. I got out my camera to try to take a picture of it as it paused, apparently chewing on some kind of nut. It was making unusual chirruping sounds. And then I noticed it started pooping, and the poop was falling down into my open suitcase!

I shooed it away.

There was some other dream in which I was watching what was supposed to be an old episode of the short-lived 90's cartoon based on the Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure movie. In the dream episode, Bill and Ted had been shrunken to a tiny size. They were chasing down mill worms as large as themselves, with the intent of eating them. Then I was with my cousin, and we were the ages we used to be when the real cartoon used to air. We were discussing the mill worm episode and how gross it was.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

An Unusual Disney Trip


Another Disney World-based dream. Only this time, Disney World looked like a cheap "budget" version of the parks, almost more like a Six Flags or something.

My first memory is that one girl there--clearly based on a girl I've met in passing in real life, but don't really know--casually told me she was going to kill me at some point while we were there. She told me "It's part of the ride! It's better if you kill someone!", though she couldn't understand why I didn't agree with her enthusiasm fort the idea. I spent a lot of time trying to stay as far away as her as possible on every ride, so she wouldn't kill me. (Note: In real life there was a brief period of time when the real version of this girl made it annoyingly clearly she wanted to date me and I made it clear I didn't share the interest. I think this part of the dream was some psychological throwback to that even, even though it's been a couple of years.)

I vaguely recall riding some sort of old wooden roller coaster with Richard. After that, he and Cailey were going to one specific event, but there was a different attraction that I was in a hurry to get to while it was still open, so I went there. This attraction was something like a theater, where you watched something on a big screen in a type of auditorium.

When I got there the line was still fairly small. The attendants, all ladies, asked me if I was there by myself. I told them I was doing this particular attraction alone, and they acted like that was so sad. One of them, a middle-aged lady with glasses (who actually vaguely reminds of someone from my past, now that I think about it), said she'd find someone to sit with me for this feature. I told her she really didn't have too--but she was off. I think someone said she was going to find "Rapunzel", who would sit with me, but I don't--possibly unfortunately--remember exactly how this part panned out.

In my final memory of the dream, I was back with Richard and Jessica and Cailey in a room where it looked like a birthday party was being thrown for Cailey. Some of the characters were presenting her with a cake and such. I got really frustrated because every time I tried to take a picture, my camera wouldn't actually take it, no matter how hard or many times I pressed the button. Eventually I threw it down on the ground and woke up.

Motorcylces and Ice Cream


In real life my dad occasionally rides a motorcycle, though it's really not that often. I haven't ridden on one with him since my early teens, yet that's what was happening in this dream. I had gone to visit my parents, and he and I were heading out for a bike ride. Because it was a dream, we were able to have casual conversation and actually hear each other over the motor of the bike as we rode.

At one point we passed some beautiful countryside, and I even spotted an old cairn that I recognized from the book I'm currently reading (it wasn't strange to me to recognize a fictional landmark within the dream).
Dad said something about stopping to get ice cream or some kind of dessert. I said I didn't think I should, because I had already eaten a lot that day and I didn't want to overdo it or something. But then we stopped in my parents' garage--as though it were somewhere along our way rather than the destination we had originally left from--and my mom was standing there. She gave each of us some kind of chocolate coated ice cream on a stick, like a Eskimo Pie. She said they were fat free so we were allowed to have them.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Comedy Festival


Some random old high school acquaintance that I don't really even know or talk to sent me an event invitation on Facebook. It was for some kind of all-day comedy festival they were having in Birmingham. Many famous and not-so-famous comedians and comedy troupes would be performing all day. I decided it sounded like it could be fun, so I thought I'd go check it out.

I have vague memories of watching comedians perform, mostly on outdoor stages at different venues. I can't recall specific performers or jokes. At one point, I went back home, only it looked like my grandmother's house and my mom was there. I ate some cold cereal and announced I was heading back to see more comedy at the festival (admission included a colorful wristband, so you could come and go at leisure).

Having returned to the festival, I was no seated in a theater of some sort, waiting for another act to take the stage.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Basketball Glory Days


My dad didn't play basketball in high school or college, but in my dream he was reminiscing about his days as a star on his high school or college basketball team. He was with a friend who had supposedly been on the team with him, and they were reliving their glory days.

At one point the two of them were watching old video clips of one of their games. They apparently had nick-names for each other at the time, "T-Rex" and "Gator". As they watched the footage, they kept talking about "T-Rex vs. Gator!" The most surprising things about this video was to see my younger dad doing all kinds of fancy Michael Jordan-style moves on the basketball court. In the waking world this seems even more crazy.

There was another part of the old video, I guess shot during halftime, which showed a tub of water being placed under the basketball hoops. Then one of the players grabbed a scrawny nerdy guy from the crowd and slam-dunked him through the hoop down into the water. The nerd was in total shock, but when he realized he was unharmed he seemed ecstatic!

In another dream I was apparently in some kind of movie or play. It seemed to have a "Sherlock Holmes" sort of theme. I was supposed to be trying to solve a mystery, looking for clues and such. My mom was there, and at one point someone tossed her a piece of bread and she began eating it.

I immediately yelled, "Cut!" and informed the apparent director of this scene that my mom would never eat bread some stranger had touched with their hands and tossed at her, and there was no way I could stay in character having seen that happen!

In yet another dream I was watching TV. There was a special on the religious channel in which a televangelist was driving around in his car with "Weird Al" Yankovic in the passenger seat. The two were having a discussion on faith, but it was obvious that Weird Al didn't really want to be there. This was supposed to be a legitimate show, and not some kind of spoof.

I have one other vague image in my head in which I was loading corn on the cob (fully cooked) beside a fireplace hearth as though it were firewood.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Parchment Wiki and the Crazy Hobo Agent


The first memories are vague. I was at someone's house at night, and a lot of people were there, so I guess there was some type of party or something. There was a long parchment where people were writing down little bits of facts and information about the Harry Potter books or movies. It was almost like people were editing a Wikipedia page, only it was a physical piece of parchment. I remember adding something to it as well.

Also while in this house, someone told me that there was a RiffTrax for Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World. For some reason I was especially excited to see the riff of this one, even though I haven't seen that movie since it was in theaters and remember little of it.

Finally, I remember my boss (my bosses are a married couple, this was the wife), telling me I needed to go pick up her dog from someone. I was to meet them in the parking lot of some store a couple of miles away from where I work, so I headed that way.

When I arrived at the mostly-empty parking lot, four people approached my car. Three were in their thirties to forties, two men and one woman, dressed like secret agents or Secret Service members or something. The fourth was a slightly older, bearded man, who looked almost hobo-ish, but was obviously part of their group.

The three younger ones immediately got into my car, one in the passenger seat and the other two in the back. I was freaking out a little bit about this, but not as much as the bearded man! He kept yelling for them yo get back out there! He swore that he knew what we were up to! Through the open passenger-side window, he began grabbing at that guy, trying to pull him out.

Then the man produced a rifle or shotgun, ran to the front of the car and aimed it at us. I threw the car in reverse, backed up a ways, put it back and drive and slammed on the gas, running over the crazy man as I rammed into the wall behind him.

I guess we got out OK, because my next and last memory of the dream is re-telling this story to someone.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Recognizable Snoopy Art on a Tee


In real life, as I was growing up, my grandparents kept a set of "Snoopy" tumbler/glasses which I usually drank from when visiting. (I still have one in my "Peanuts" collection today.) The art on the glasses features Snoopy and Woodstock garnishing giant hotdogs and hamburgers.

In my dream, my friend Eric was wearing a T-shirt featuring this exact same artwork. I couldn't believe such a thing existed, and asked him where he'd found it. He explained to me that some random old man, possibly a vagrant, had come up to him and given it to him.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Hungry In Japan


For some reason I had gone to Japan by myself. I knew that Eric, and I think possibly some other friends, were supposed to be arriving on another flight later on. In the meantime, I explored the area where our hotel was, thinking particularly of where we might eat later. There was a Japanese version of a Pizza Hut right next door to us, though there were obviously many other restaurants in the surrounding area.

My next memory is being with a fairly large group of both friends and family. We were walking up and down the streets of Japan, trying to pick out a restaurant. Many of them looked tempting. We couldn't decide it we wanted to try a "safe" choice or one of the more exotic native options.

As we passed one restaurant, a couple of girls in traditional Kabuki garb were waving at me from behind a window to come inside. I waved back, but continued to follow my group down the street as they tried to decide.

Eventually we all decided to go back to the restaurant where the Kabuki-looking girls had tried to wave me in. It had only been a very few minutes, but now there was a closed sign on the door! The girls inside, now in the process of cleaning the place up, stopped and waved again anyway.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Hungry Bear and the Hotel


I was watching some sort of comedy segment on TV. One guy was outdoors, talking to another, and a lion sneaked up behind him, stood upright on its hind legs, and placed its front paws on the man's shoulders (the lion was CG, intended to look "real" but pretty cheaply done). The man just kept talking to his friend without realizing the lion was there. The other friend kept trying to warn him to no avail.

The lion opened its jaws as to bite the man, when suddenly an even bigger grizzly bear stepped up behind the lion and ate it. I mean swallowed it whole, head first. The man never knew what was going on behind him. I think this was supposed to be quite funny, but even in the dream the whole thing came off as just weird.

There was another dream in which I was visiting a big city somewhere with friends. I remember Eric, Richard and I were staying in a cheap hotel room with a couple of other people, possibly fictional.

I remember some bits of the dream took place in the hotel, and it was a very dingy appearance. Details from the dream are mostly unclear until near the end, I had gone out into the city to look for something and then I walked the few blocks back to the hotel. It was a gorgeous day and I vividly remember walking down the streets, though I couldn't tell you the specific sights I saw as I did.

Out hotel room was, I think, five stories up, and you had to walk up outdoor stairs to get there. At the base of the stairs I saw an old lady I recognized as being from our group. She had suitcases with her and told me the others were still in the room packing to go. She said they'd lost power several times in the room that morning and so-and-so (the name of the organizer of the trip, who I recognized in the dream but can't remember now), had said he'd never stay at this hotel again. I was glad, because it really was a pretty crappy hotel.

I returned to the room to join the others in packing, but this is about all I can remember.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Already Time For Another Film Festival


In real life there is an independent film festival held in the late summer or fall each year in nearby Birmingham. This year's festival happened about a month ago, but in my dream, I was once again attending the opening night festivities.

Instead of the Alabama Theatre, where the opening night movie is really screened, this event was taking place at the house of an ex girlfriend. There was an impossible number or folding chairs, neatly arranged into row after row. At the front of the room was a rather small analog TV set. Once the crowds packed in, the TV showed "It's a Wonderful Life". (The same theatre that really shows some of the festival films also screens this movie around Christmas time each year, so the things sort of have a correlation, as random as it sounds).

As I sat in my seat and watched, it suddenly hit me that it seemed like I had only just attended the film festival. How could it already be happening again? Had it already been a year? The fact that a year had passed really bothered me--though it never seemed strange to me that all of this was taking place in the home of my ex.

My last memory is of my ex and I talking about something off in one corner while the movie still played.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Missing a New York Sunrise, Stealing a Rental Car, and Charlie Brown


I was staying in New York City (I've never actually been). Eric was there with me, and I think some other friends were, too, but he's the only one in the part of the dream I remember. We left the hotel room very early and went on the roof of the building to see the sunrise. On the roof we had a gorgeous view of the city skyline as the sun came up.

About this time I realized I'd left my camera in the hotel room. And I'd left my cell phone as well, so I didn't even have that as an option! I knew I didn't have time to go get the camera and bring it back before the sunrise ended. Even as I stood in awe of the view, I was upset about missing the photography opportunity.

About this time, I saw a Frenchman and his family arrive on the roof (I don't know how I knew he was French before I spoke to him). He was a heavyset man with a handlebar mustache and mutton chop sideburns. He also wore a bowler hat and an old-timey suit. I don't remember much about the appearance of his wife and kids.

The Frenchman began taking pictures of the sunrise. Though he spoke only broken English, I managed to successfully explain to my predicament to him and ask if he might be able to e-mail me any of those pictures after he returned home. He agreed and we exchanged business cards for the contact information. I was trying to remember the word "merci" but I couldn't think of it.

In another dream I needed to rent a car for some reason. I arrived at the car rental place very early one morning, before I was supposed to be at work. The place was closed. I got tired of waiting and decided it would be okay to just take one of the cars without filling out the paperwork. I could always, I reasoned, call them after they got to the office and let them know which car I'd taken!

I vaguely remember driving the car around and realizing I forgot to take note of the mileage before I started. It was very important that I know the original mileage reading when I reported back to the rental place. And then, the more I thought about it, I decided that it might have been illegal to take the car before I told them about it, and I began to worry I'd be in trouble.

I was looking at old pictures taken in the guest bedroom at my grandmother's house. In the pictures, there was a large Charlie Brown figure in the room, probably close to two feet tall. It appeared to be mostly constructed of the sort of soft plastic a doll's head might be made of, and the clothes were actual fabric. In the pictures, was posed in a chair beside a desk holding the receiver of a phone. As I looked at the pictures, I tried to remember ever having seen that Charlie Brown doll in that room before, and I couldn't (because it really never was)!

In some of the other pictures, I noticed there were also several smurf figures in that room, all of a similar size as the Charlie Brown.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Beetle Bailey, Church Girl and the Bookstore


I was looking through the Sunday comics in the newspaper. I remember, in vivid detail, seeing a Beetle Bailey comic. I read each panel and it was so extremely bizarre that I woke myself up laughing. I actually recreated the dream-strip for my art blog, so rather than trying to describe it to you, I'll just show you what I saw:


I went back to sleep and had another dream. This was in the wee hours of Sunday morning. I had plans to go for a long walk at the park and enjoy the nice fall weather when I got up. In my dream, I found myself visiting my parents' church (which looked totally different than it really does). When I "realized" I was there, I thought, "Hey! What happened to my plans to go walk this morning?!"

The sanctuary of the church was really large and circular in shape and had stadium seating. I sat on one of the rows near the back. A tall, pretty brunette girl, around my age, sat down directly behind me. I "recognized" having seen her in the lobby moments beforehand.

The service began and a man was singing a solo. Then the girl behind me went down and joined him. She sang, and I believe she also played an instrument, though my memory is a bit vague.

After the music, she returned to her seat and I complimented her on a job well done. Then she asked me about my music. I told her that, unfortunately, I don't sing or play anything. She seemed really offended and said, "Well you told me you played an instrument!" As I had no memory of having ever said any such thing, this attack confused me. I tried to explain to her that I was an artist, a cartoonist, and maybe she got that confused?

The rest of the dream consisted of me talking to this girl some more, and I think we got pretty flirtatious, but I don't remember any more details.

In one last dream I remember driving down a fairly rural road with beautiful fall foliage. There was a smallish bookstore just off the road. The outside of the building looked old, like it might have actually been abandoned and unoccupied. Once inside, however, it looked like a huge, modern bookstore, and the opposite end opened out into an entire mall.

I remember looking through books. I saw some young adult novels that looked like good stories, and also remember seeing a Stephen King section, and a display for the old Bone comics. Suddenly I got a text from Eric, which reminded me I was supposed to be on my way to meet him.

I tried texting him back, but suddenly my screen would only bring up pictures of Disney Princesses when I tried to open text messages. In real life Eric's phone is currently messed up and he can't send or receive texts. In the dream, this was my explanation for why my phone only pulled up random Disney pictures when I tried to contact him.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Killer and the Nekkid Mermaid


In real life I share my art in a gallery on the deviantART online artist community. In my dream, one of the people who "follows" my art on that site began threatening me. He'd seen that I was a fan of some particular character or movie or show (I can't recall the details) and contacted me to inform me that he tracked down and killed people who liked that property, because he couldn't stand it.

I did a little research online and discovered that he really was responsible for killing people because of this. He'd told me I had to get rid of anything I had pertaining to this subject, and I started to do so. I was frantically destroying collectibles and things (I really wish I could remember what it was specifically). Then I began wondering why I wasn't just contacting the police?

In another dream, my friends' daughter, Cailey was showing me some new toys she had. One of them was a huge toy castle or something that had a mural of Disney characters drawn on the inside of it. The mural featured all of the classic characters, from Mickey & friends to the princesses, etc. One striking thing, though, was the character of Ariel. She appeared in human form, lying on her stomach, completely nude with her bottom prominently exposed. I was shocked that Disney would allow such a depiction of the character, especially on a children's toy!

In yet another dream I found some old "Bill & Ted" comics drawn by artist Evan Dorkin (I really had most of these in the 90s). One of the dream-comics I found had a Q&A with Dorkin in which he mentioned he'd been told there would definitely be a third "Bill & Ted" movie. Obviously that never happened back then (though I suppose they're saying it is going to happen now).

Monday, September 19, 2011

The Big Dinner and the Distracting Rooms


I was driving my car with my ex girlfriend in the passenger seat. Her sister was supposed to get married, and we were on our way to attend a big get-together her family was having to celebrate in advance of the wedding.

I don't recall much about the get-together except sitting at a crowded table with food being served. At some point I excused myself and I ended up going into some building with lots of hallways and doors. It looked sort of like an empty school building, perhaps. One of the rooms was full of old, analog black and white video monitors. I can remember looking at them but not what I saw.

Eventually I returned to the big family dinner and apologized for having been gone so long. At least one family member kept demanding I explain where I was and why I was gone so long.

There was another dream in which I was watching Doctor Who (the current version, with the 11th Doctor as played by Matt Smith). The story had something to do with there being several exact copies of the Doctor and even he wasn't sure which was the "original" copy.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Tiger Shorts, Comic Store Hostages and a Dumpster


First, I remember going to Disney World with Richard, Jessica and Cailey (yes, another Disney World dream). We were standing in a long, winding line waiting for something, perhaps our park passes. During our time in line Cailey became upset about something, but I can't remember what.

My next memory is that we were walking down a strange-looking dream version of Main Street in the Magic Kingdom. We went in some of the shops to look at merchandise. One of the shops sold clothing, and I found a pair of shorts with a tiger face printed on one side of them. Not Tigger. Just the print of a realistic tiger, having nothing specific to do with Disney. For some reason I wanted these shorts, and I bought them.

Shortly after I'd left the store with the purchased tiger shorts I noticed they had small holes in them. I took them aback to the store to make an exchange, but they rack where I'd previously found them was no longer there, and I had to look for what seemed like ages to find it again. Eventually I had to get an employee to help me, and even then it was some time before we found it. Then I exchanged the shorts. Exciting dream stuff, huh?

Sometime after this I went to a huge comic book store where they were about to host a panel with a guest speaker I was interested in (I can't remember who). At this point the dream began to feel more like a comic convention than a Disney trip (not that it had seemed very Disney anyway).

I was milling around the comic store waiting for the panel to begin when suddenly the store was hijacked by some group of robbers, or thugs of some sort. They herded everyone in the store into one of the back rooms and locked us in there. The room was big enough that the 20 or 30 of us had room to mill around a bit. There was some couches and chairs for a few of us to sit on.

I was sitting on one of the couches with a girl who was either Hermione from Harry Potter, or the actress who plays her, Emma Watson. I don't know which incarnation of that person it was meant to be, but we were apparently friends. She was really nervous about what would happen to us and I was trying to encourage her as she held on to me. (I have no idea why, but I genuinely did not feel very scared about our situation).

Eventually the crooks left the place, and Hermione/Emma and I formulated a plan of how to get the door unlocked (apparently just breaking it down wasn't an option). We ultimately escaped unscathed, and then I found myself back on that weird version of Main Street. There was some really odd-looking Disney merchandise on display that I can't even describe. Just bizarre collectibles bearing various Disney character likenesses.

Finally I remember "waking up" at my parents' house, as though I had been visiting there. I went downstairs and no one else was home, so I started preparing a bowl cereal for breakfast.

There was a different dream that involved a large trash dumpster. I can't remember the "story leading up to it, but several people and I had lost an item in the dumpster and wanted to retrieve it. The dumpster was too deep to just reach down into, and it was filled with a dark, wet, mulch-like substance, so we didn't want to actually jump inside it. We decided that maybe we could tip it over to make the contents spill in order to retrieve whatever our lost item was. Of course the wet mulch substance made the dumpster especially heavy, so we were having a hard time tipping it over.

Eventually I discovered a white plastic box, not much bigger than a shoebox. It somehow connected to a level near the top of the dumpster. Once connected, there was some way this gave you access to the inside of the dumpster--it doesn't make any sense to try to describe it now, because it's one of those things that only works in dream logic.

My last memory in the dream is trying to describe this function of the plastic box to one of the ladies in our group.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Early Morning Cityscape


This isn't a very action-packed dream, but every single moment in it was extremely vivid, even more so than usual.

Early one morning I was getting ready to leave the apartment for the day. For some reason a CD I used to love as a teenager in the 90's popped into my head. I actually wanted to hear it again. It's not on my iPod or in my iTunes library (in real life or in the dream), and I certainly didn't want to dig around trying to find where the old CD actually was.

I remember looking through the closet in the bedroom I actually had as a teenager, trying to find something to wear. I kept seeing old shirts and thinking, "Wow, I thought I donated those to the thrift store ages ago--I really need to clean this closet!"

My next memory is being a passenger in Eric's car as we were driving in downtown Birmingham in the early, predawn hours. Driving up a big hill, we had a perfect view of the Birmingham cityscape, still lit up in the relative darkness that remained in the sky. The scene was beautiful, but what made it strange is that several blimp-sized pig balloons were floating at random places about the city. Not pig balloons like that Pink Floyd thing--these were more spherical, almost like the "Angry Birds" pigs in shape, but not in exact appearance.

We could see a large football down below as we continued driving up the steep hill. There was a large inflatable football stadium replica in the middle of the actual football field. I recognized in the dream that the city of Birmingham had supposedly placed this there as a promotion for the actual sports stadium they'd like to build one day.

Of to the side, in a portion of the football field not taken up by the giant inflatable, were a group of people playing Quidditch. Not the literal, magic sport of Quidditch that the wizards play in the Harry Potter world, but the real-life adaptation you hear of some groups of people actually playing.

Next we arrived at a fast food restaurant where we met up with our friends Courtney and Melissa (each of whom lives out of state now). We were all standing in line waiting to place an order for breakfast, and I was telling the girls about having seen the Quidditch players before. Then I went on to talk about the time I played a game of Quidditch like that--which I've never actually done, but seemed to "remember" in the dream.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Sizzlin' Breakfast


I was cooking scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast. But not at the stove. At the table. The eggs and bacon were sitting on a paper plate in front of me at the kitchen table, sizzling away as if they were in a skillet! Occasionally I'd take a bite. It didn't seem strange at all.

I had another dream that I was telling my mom about my recent real-life trip to DragonCon, during which I met Christopher Lloyd and other Back to the Future cast members. At some point as I was talking about it, Lloyd actually walked past in a crowd of people and my mom commented that he looked young for his age (probably because, in the dream, he looked exactly the age he was when the movies came out).

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Indecisive Order and the Old Photograph


I was driving down a local highway on my way to meet Eric for some dinner. I passed a fictional church on my way. The church was mostly brick, but the front and back of the building each featured a huge portion of wall that was jut stained glass from ground to roof. It was dusk, so it was dark enough out that I could see light coming from the huge windows. The light was flashing different colors and created a really pretty effect.

My next memory is being at the restaurant, a local pizza place, with Eric. I also remember Jessica and Cailey being there at one point. At this restaurant you stand in line at the front to place your order, and then wait for your number to be called. This portion of the dream was extremely vivid as I stood in line trying to decide what I wanted to eat--a pizza or a sandwich (in real life it's almost unimaginable that I'd be in a pizza place and want anything other than pizza).

Even when I got up to the register I still didn't know what I wanted to order. It's so weird that this part of the dream seemed like such a big deal. I even woke up from the frustration, but quickly drifted back to sleep.

Next I was at my parents' and I saw some stacks of old pictures my dad was going through. There were several pictures taken during his time as the pastor of a church in Kentucky, where we lived during part of my childhood in the 80's. One set of pictures was of members of what was supposedly the youth group in that church at the time. Apparently they had all come to our house for some party or event. While there, each one of them had their picture taken individually, sitting in a chair beside the staircase.

There was one fictional girl from the fictional youth group that I supposedly had a crush on at the time. She was a brunette, and in her photograph, she was wearing an outfit that looked like something a teen genuinely would have worn in the 80's (when the picture was supposedly taken), but also had a hint of "Hot Topic" to it. When I saw her picture, I suddenly "remembered" her, and the childhood crush. It filled me with such nostalgia that I wanted to keep the picture for myself, so I put it with my things.

There was another picture among the ones from that era which showed my dad and some other men standing outside of a church. Upon close inspection, I realized it was the church from my earlier dream--the one with the huge stained glass windows that lit up. I thought it was strange that I'd just taken note of that church when driving by it so "recently", and then was seeing it in these old pictures.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Roger vs. the Terrorists


First I remember watching a portion of some sort of documentary about the making of the Who Framed Roger Rabbit movie. It was specifically addressing the Roger Rabbit cartoon shorts that Disney briefly tried putting in theaters following the success of the movie. Apparently one of the ones that was in production but never finished was something like "Roger vs. the Terrorists". The documentary discussed how wildly inappropriate that seems now.

The documentary showed b-roll footage inside a real life warehouse where many crates and boxes full of who-knows-what were stored. As the camera moved along, it followed a huge stack of animated boxes that someone was trying to carry into the warehouse. You could only see the top part of the animated stack of boxes where it rose above the tops of the stacks of real boxes. You could hear cartoony voices arguing about where to set this stack. The animation was not blended into the real scene as expertly as in the actual Roger Rabbit movie, but was obviously just pieced together for the documentary.

There was another dream in which Eric and I were driving around late at night down a fairly deserted, rural road. Then we saw an old, beat up van drive by. It was purple and had Marvel comic's Wolverine character painted on the side. We were commenting on how odd that was when suddenly we nearly ran over a guy in a Wolverine costume, just standing by the side of the road. He never really reacted, just sort of stood there staring at us as we drove by. It was kind of eerie the way he was hanging around alone in the dark wearing that costume.

We decided we had to drive back by and try to snap a picture of the costumed guy. Before we could, however, we had to stop and do something else, I can't remember what. I just know we ended up in what looked like a hotel room, and Eric was in the bathroom. I was in another room changing into a different pair of clothes. As I put on my socks I noticed that my feet and toes looked oddly bloated and swollen. I didn't really have much reaction to this, as I just went on about my business.

I guess we thought the costumed Wolverine guy would just be standing on that road all night long, waiting for us.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Swearing, The Passport, and Hermione?


The title refers to a variety of short dream memories as opposed to one epic story.

First I remember going to my parents' to meet them and a lady who is our close family friend. The family friend was telling a story about something that had happened to her lately. One of the people in the story had a foul mouth,and she kept quoting what they'd said to her, curse words and all. In real life this lady would never utter a curse word, not even if she were quoting someone, so it gave me quite a shock to hear her saying all these words!

Also around this time I noticed that I really had to go to the bathroom, but for some reason I went ahead and got in the car with my parents as we headed somewhere. The whole ride all I could think of is how badly I needed to go, and I doubted I could make it. That's when I woke up,and you can guess what happened.

After this I went back to sleep. I remember a dream that I was somewhere, perhaps some kind of amusement park, with Richard and Jessica and Cailey. Before you were allowed access, you had to have a "passport" made (not a literal passport, but a kind of thing they made for you to use for access just at this place). Richard and Jessica already had theirs but I needed to have one made.

There was a pretty brunette girl dressed something like a stewardess who took my information and directed me where to stand to have my photo taken for the "passport". At some point during my interaction with the girl, I noticed she was no longer wearing her uniform but a slinky little cocktail dress. I didn't know how to address this, but she looked very nice. For some reason, Richard was off to the corner taking occasional snapshots of my registration process and laughing about it.

There was another dream in which I basically relived the surprise 60th birthday part we recently threw for my dad, only in a slightly different, dream-like form.

And finally, I was dreaming something which featured Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger as they appeared in the movies, or it might have been meant to be the actors who portrayed them. It had something to do with us walking down a nature trail not unlike one I frequently do walk on. By the end of the dream it basically just featured Hermione/Emma Watson and me, but I can't really recall the details before I woke up.

Friday, September 2, 2011

The Wrong Composer and the Missing Table


Film score composer Michael Giacchino (perhaps most noted for several Pixar scores and the LOST series) was a new employee where I worked. We spoke a few times, but I didn't know him well. I thought it was really strange to be working with a famous composer.

Then one day I saw him make a post on Twitter about being in the studio scoring a certain movie. I thought, "no he isn't, he's at work
here today"! That's when I figured out it was two completely different guys. The Michael Giacchino at my workplace just looked the same and had the exact same name!

There was also another dream that Eric came to visit my apartment early in the morning. So early, in fact, that his arrival woke me up. After I opened the door to let him in, I immediately noticed that the kitchen and chairs from my kitchen were gone! Of course I promptly blamed Eric, assuming this was some sort of prank. He'd moved them during the night and that's why he was here so early now--to get my reaction.

Eric swore that he had nothing to do with the disappearance of the table and chairs to the point that I eventually believed him. But then I was perplexed as to how they came up missing. Who would break into my place while I slept and only steal my old table and chairs? What sense did it make if it was an elaborate prank by anyone?

Somehow I eventually found out that my grandmother was the culprit! I asked her about it and she vehemently denied her guilt, but somehow I had learned for a fact that she had sold them to someone. (I have no idea why this would be the case, even in a dream!)

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Free Chicken


I received notification on my Facebook page that some fast food restaurant was giving away a free fried chicken dinner. For some reason I made a point to drive through and pick up some of the chicken. It looked really good, but I'd already eaten, so I took it home and put it in the fridge to be reheated later.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Talking Cat


There is a stray Siamese cat that hangs out near the place where I work. We've been feeding it for months. It's gotten used to us, but hasn't been tamed. My dream started out as basically a real life scene in which I arrived at work in the morning and the cat was there waiting for me to put its food out...

Then, suddenly, a random family pulled into the parking lot and wanted to visit my workplace. I vaguely remember these people spending some time inside the building. Eventually I remembered that I had never fed the cat, so I went to the door to see if it was still outside.

The cat was there, and when it saw me it asked, "Are you gonna feed me now?" I had no reaction except to casually say, "Yeah, in just a minute." I went on to prepare its food. I thought about how I'd have to tell my bosses that the cat was talking now, but it really didn't seem that strange at all!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Fireworks at the Church


I was at home, which in the case of this dream was a fictional apartment. It was almost bedtime when I got a phone call from an old lady telling me to turn on my TV. There was a patriotic special (sort of like an Independence Day thing) being hosted by Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert and this lady, whoever she was, really wanted me to see it.

I vaguely recall watching the show, which was very funny, though I can't recall specifics anymore. All the while I stayed on the line with the mystery woman who would tell me related anecdotes as we watched. At one point she began to tell me how they celebrated the Fourth of July at her church. As she told me the story, the dream shifted so that suddenly I was actually there with her in her church as they celebrated.

The old lady and I were seated on a pew near the front of the medium-sized sanctuary. On the pulpit before us was a very small device which was emitting a very small indoor fireworks show. Oddly, it had all of the colors and types of explosions you'd expect to see in a major professional fireworks display, but all on a small enough scale to fit on this church's small pulpit. It was also visible on video screens posted from the ceiling. There was no sense of danger from this all being indoors, it was just "cool" that it was such a unique presentation.

After the fireworks, everyone in the church was dismissed. As we were standing to leave, I heard shouting in the back. Some fat, middle aged man in a sport coat and glasses was yelling and screaming "praise the Lord!!!" and such. The old lady told me to pay him no attention--"That's just so-and-so, and sometimes he gets this way".

As we made our way to exit, we passed the screaming fat man as he was getting up in people's faces warning them about the coming of the Lord and such. He was more than a little crazy. My last memory is seeing some ushers sneaking in to take care of the disturbance.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Under the Table


First I remember visiting someone's house with a handful of other people. The actress Kristen Stewart was there, and we began talking. I "recognized" her as we spoke, but there wasn't that sense of celebrity attached to it. (Also, I should add that it's really odd that she would turn up in a dream. I've never seen a movie she's been in, she's not a one of my "Hollywood crushes", etc. A totally arbitrary pop culture dream appearance.)

Kristen told me she wanted to show me something, so she took me into the empty dining room and we crawled under the table. The table was draped with a long tablecloth so that we were concealed from the outside once underneath. She then pointed out something about the pattern of the fabric on the inside of the cloth that she thought was really fascinating. I didn't really see what the big deal was, but I played along for her sake.

At this point we ended up kissing and then things suddenly began to get rather...heated...between us. And the next little bit of the dream is far too racy for me to transcribe here for public consumption.

After, we came out from under the table and rejoined the rest of the party. I only have the vaguest memories of other things going on at this point. Mainly I was just waiting for my next moment with Kristen. I think we stole some more kisses here and there, but I don't remember anything else to detailed as the previous scene.

Later I remember my parents telling me that we were going to go to Maggiano's for our family friend, Judy's, birthday. Maggiano's is an Italian restaurant I really love. The closest one is in Atlanta, so I don't get to go that often. In my dream, when my mom said the name, I knew it sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. I remember just wracking my brain trying to think where I'd heard the name "Magianno's" before. Finally I remembered it was the Italian restaurant in Atlanta, and I couldn't wait to go.

My next memory is being seated at the restaurant. For some reason my friend Eric had joined the family for the occasion. I was privately trying to tell him about what had happened at the party from earlier in the dream.

Our waitress took our drink orders and left a pair of salt and pepper shakers on the table. They were sculpted to look like a cartoon woman and a cartoon dog. It was really cool. I remember Eric commenting on them, but can't recall what he said specifically.

From here on out, I mainly just remember thinking about what I wanted from the menu, and eventually my alarm went off.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

The Fickle Redhead


I was part of a crew filming a special that had something to do with puppets. I think they may have actually even been Muppets. I was behind a camera or something, and another crew member introduced me to another one who I'd not yet met. She was girl, down in a trench behind the set where they operated the puppets. She had bright red hair and a pale, milky-white complexion. Very pretty in a girl-next-door sort of way.

The girl and I locked eyes when we were introduced and you could just feel the sparks already starting to fly. The rest of the dream simply consisted of the two of us talking and getting to know each other better. We clicked on so many levels and it was so exciting, making me the happiest I could remember being in ages.

In the last part of the dream, we were going to some type of movie or play. Standing in the lobby she just abruptly announced that she "couldn't do this" and left. I was devastated, even as I felt it was a pretty typical outcome. The disappointment was so crushing that I woke up.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Disney Trip with an Unlikely Partner


I was going to Disney World with one of my ex girlfriend's sister. (I never had a "thing" for this sister, who was married anyway, and I haven't seen or thought about her in ages and ages, so her appearance here is pretty arbitrary).

I remember the two of us going through the security line at the airport, which was conspicuously low-tech and not at all crowded. I remember trying to unload my pockets and all my goods into the tray and for some reason, as dreams will sometimes do, I just couldn't do it right. I kept trying over and over, while the guards and the small line behind me grew increasingly frustrated.

After this I remember nothing about the dream until we were checking into our hotel at Disney. I think there was another family staying in the same suite with us, which was odd. I remember going to take a shower as soon as we arrived. When I got out of the shower, I was trying to find towels to dry with. There was a rack that had several of them, but the first one I tried was damp, like it had already been used, which was kind of gross.

I realized now that it was after 7 PM, and probably all four of the main parks were closing by now. We found out Downtown Disney would still be open for a while, so we thought we'd go there and shop.

First we decided to eat supper in a fancy steak restaurant that was attached to our hotel. The waitress, a really nice black lady, seated us in a U-shaped booth. The funny thing was, she seated herself in the middle of us! From that position she began to take our orders. And that's about all I recall.

We Were Laughing Kids


In real life, my younger cousin and I visited each other frequently when we were growing up. In my dream, it was as if we were both kids again and were spending the night at the house my family lived in at the time.

It was late and we were lying in bed just talking and joking like we used to often do when we should've been sleeping. Something we said really cracked us up, and we woke up my parents with our laughing. My dad came came to the door to tell us to be quiet and go to sleep, but the door was locked. For some reason this made us laugh even harder.

I'm pretty sure I actually laughed in my sleep, as I sort of vaguely woke up for a minute. I went right back to sleep and was dreaming of eating breakfast and trying to remember what had been so funny.

Simple and silly as it was, it was a nice dream in that parts of it really felt like revisiting times gone by.

Friday, July 29, 2011

My Friend the Murderer


In real life I occasionally attend a "Meetup" group that goes to see movies together locally in Birmingham. In my dream I was attending one of those Movie Meetups, only instead of a theater, it took place in a random room somewhere. (The room actually resembled the study room used on the TV show "Community".)

There was a group of maybe eight of us (some real people, some fictional) sitting around a big table. We each had a laptop computer in front of us. We watched the movie streamed over our individual laptops and would discuss what we'd seen after.

I remember one fictional woman in the group. She was probably about 40, and was very loud and boisterous and sort of redneck-ish. I think she annoyed everyone there at least a little bit.

My next memory is finding out that that annoying woman had gone missing shortly after that and was presumed dead. I was visiting my friend Eric and when that topic came up, he confessed he'd murdered her! He was very calm about it and didn't seem to think it was a big deal, though he asked me not to tell anyone.

As I left his apartment--which looked nothing like the ones where he really lives--I noticed an apartment across the way that I knew had belonged to the woman he murdered. There was already a "For Rent" sign on the door because they knew she'd never be coming back. This all just made me feel sick.

In my last memory, I was back in my own apartment and the police showed up at the door. I was terrified because I thought they were going to arrest me for not telling anyone that I knew Eric had killed the woman.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Mutants for Hire


On my lunch break at work I went over to the nearby mall and bought a new pair of shoes (something I really did not long ago). Then I went to the walking trail across from the mall, though it looked fairly different in the dream. There was a family of about five people walking around a circular part of the trail in the opposite direction. At the moment our paths crossed, I realized I wasn't wearing a shirt. Embarrassed, I quickly put one one.

When I got back to work, a young 20-something guy who I did not recognize suddenly sat down beside me. He kept asking me about the job, and how it worked, and how I was going to train him. I kept trying to tell him that we weren't hiring any new people. He was increasingly aggressive in his insistence that he did indeed work there now.

Eventually it was confirmed that we'd hired, I think, three new people and I was to train them all. I didn't understand how we needed three new people. This caused me to simultaneously fear for my job, and to dread the act of training--especially training that obnoxious new guy.

Next I remember spending the night as a house that looked similar to my grandmothers', though it wasn't supposed to be. I apparently knew the lady it belonged to, and I think I was house-sitting for her. The strange thing about her home is that she had TV screens affixed to every window of the house and they played Disney movies nonstop. Anytime you wanted to look out a window, you just saw Disney animation. It was very bizarre.

At one point in the night, I went out into her driveway. I just sat there watching an episode of "The Simpsons" on my phone (I never watch TV on my phone). In the show, Lisa had some quote that really cracked me up, though I can't remember it now.

Suddenly that obnoxious new guy from work appeared in the driveway, though he was being a little nicer now. He asked if I "had the CDs". I told him I did, and retrieved a box full of old music CDs out of the backseat of my car.

Then suddenly I'm standing with all of the new people we hired at work, including that guy, who now really seemed funny and affable rather than obnoxious. He started doing a lot of celebrity impersonations. One was Michael Jackson, which included the dancing. During the dance he suddenly began spinning faster and faster until his body began contorting and he was doing all of these weird, superhuman moves.

This freaked me out a little, but the other new hires then told me they were all mutants, like the X-Men, and they all had weird powers. I was having a little trouble taking this in. As they continued to explain things to me, I saw a pretty brunette girl in a tiny, baby blue dress walking toward us. She had fantastic legs, but as she got closer and closer, the legs just seemed to get bigger and bigger until I realized she was actually like 50 feet tall. She was another mutant, and obviously her powers were that she could grow to huge heights.

About this time all the nonsense finally woke me up.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Dog with Tools


I have a memory of being at a house that looked like my grandmother's. My dad and I were standing out on the front porch late at night, listening to the nighttime noises of the frogs and crickets. We were talking about something, I don't know what.

Then I remember being out in the woods, also late at night, with my parents and a few other people. We weren't camping, because we had no supplies. There was a black dog with us who might have been vaguely based on a cocker spaniel, Harley, that I used to own.

We were trying to send the dog out for help, and he'd keep returning to us with various tools and nuts and bolts he was finding somewhere out in the woods. I just remember the pile of tools accumulating every time the dog returned.

Monday, July 18, 2011

The Concert


I was attending an outdoor concert at dusk on a summer night. For some reason I was on the stage, with a vantage point from behind the singer. This didn't seem strange or special to me, it just felt like I was watching a show the same as the rest of the crowd. The performer was some cheesy female country singer of some sort.

At one point we began to hear the distant rumble of thunder and see the lightning in the gathering clouds. The singer announced that they would pause the concert and resume indoors in a few minutes.

During this intermission, I decided I'd go back "to my hotel room" (apparently this was taking place out of town) and get my camera so I could get pictures of the show. In the lobby of what I guess was the quaint little hotel, I passed a gift shop (I actually think something might have happened here in an earlier, forgotten part of the dream, because it was very familiar).

The shop had a lot of accessories for costumes, and I decided to buy a low-quality costume fedora. For some reason I actually thought it would be funny to stick a "press" ID in the band of the hat so I'd look like an old-fashioned reporter when I was photographing the concert.

On my way from the shop to the hotel room I paused and looked at the large conference room where they were preparing a stage for the show. A crowd was beginning to gather. I went on to the room and found my camera.

My last memory is being back outside (not inside!) for the concert. The weather was now clear, and it seemed to be a little lighter outside than it had been. I found a place not too far from the stage to stand, and now some of my friends were with me. At this point I was aware that Jenny Lewis and/or Neko Case were going to perform, so I was excited, as they are favorites.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Mobile Home Murder Mystery


I remember there were two mobile homes side-by-side and for some reason I was visiting one of them. Upon walking inside, I saw there was a huge commotion going on, including the presence of police officers. I soon learned that someone had been murdered, and it was a member of a local improv comedy troupe whose shows I regularly attend.

I was extremely saddened to hear that they had been killed. One of the police officers explained to me that the murderer had actually broken into the mobile home next door and tried to shoot a person there. The bullet had missed and gone through the wall, entering the home next door and hitting and killing the other person instead.

Somehow I was roped into investigating and trying to help the authorities figure out exactly how it had happened and who the killer was.

There was another dream in which Richard and I were going to see the recent Green Lantern movie at the theater (I haven't seen it in real life.). The entrance to the theater where the movie was playing looked more like the queue at a theme park attraction. There were all sorts of elaborate props and things to entertain people who might be standing in line for a long time.

There was no line at the moment however, so Richard and I walked on through, only glancing at the props. We actually couldn't see them very well, because they all had a sort of "double vision" effect, like watching a 3D movie without the glasses. We decided this was because we had opted to see the 2D movie, so the 3D effects didn't work, even in the line.

I vaguely recall having a vague disagreement with some people about where we could sit inside the theater, and that's about when I woke up.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

TMBG Guest Stars


I was attending a They Might Be Giants concert in Nashville on sunny afternoon. It seemed the venue was some sort of abandoned building that may have once been a department store or warehouse of some kind. The concert itself was held in a partially outdoor area in the back. There were only a few bleachers to serve as seats, and not many people there.

Before one of the songs, John Flansburgh announced that the band had written a song for the upcoming album, "Join Us" with actress Amy Adams. And it turns out Amy was there to sing it with them at the show. And then for some reason, She & Him (the musical duo of Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward) were also there. They all sang together.

Somehow Zooey messed up really badly, either with the lyrics, or singing or something. She was terribly embarrassed and they temporarily stopped the whole show for it. My last memory is that I had somehow ended up talking to Zooey backstage, assuring her the mess-up was no big deal.

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Ornament Girl


A few friends and I decided to take a last minute trip to Disney World (yes, another one of THOSE dreams). I know Richard, Jessica & Cailey were there, as well as Eric. We decided we'd fly there. I have no memory of the airport being on the plane, though I do remember flying...

My first clear memory is that were were each in a seat, as if on an airplane, though our seats were each independently flying out in the open air! We could see the Magic Kingdom before us, and we were just gently gliding in on our respective seats. As we got closer to the ground, we flew through a patch of helium balloons that had been released. We were each trying to grab at them and catch one. I remember narrowly missing a Minnie Mouse balloon that I thought I could have given to Cailey. I can't remember if I ever successfully caught one.

Once our seats landed, we went to our hotel, which was the Grand Floridian. There was still plenty of day left, but for some reason we just hung around the hotel for a while instead of hitting the parks. I remember sitting on one of the beds eating potato chips with Eric. Finally we realized we should leave the hotel room, so we began getting ready. Eric and Richard were using the bathroom mirror and I heard Eric start yelling because apparently Richard had stained his shirt.

After this I only have vague memories of going out into one of the parks. At one point I realized I'd only packed the clothes I was wearing, which was unfortunate as they'd probably get plentifully sweaty before our stay was over. We all just seemed stressed and distracted, and I began to think a last minute trip had been a bad idea.

Eventually the dream sort of morphed to where we were trying to plan a trip home, but there was some man who kept thwarting our plans, trying to keep us there (thought "there" by now had little to do with Disney World). In hindsight, the man was a little like the character Tywin Lannister from the "A Song of Ice and Fire" novels that I'm working my way through right now.

My friends and I kept researching ways to get ourselves out of there, rendting cars, buying plane tickets--even shipping ourselves on a truck, but the man kept thwarting them by hiding or destroying whatever information we came up with. We were very much in awe of how sneaky he was--always one step ahead of us!

In the midst of this crisis, I met a girl. She was a little younger than me and very cute, in a mousy/nerdy sort of way. She sculpted Christmas ornaments for fun. They were very, very well made, looking just as professional as the collectible Hallmark ornaments that come out each season.

I remember at some earlier point she'd given me two as a gift. They were based on characters from the old 90's "Animaniacs" cartoon. My last memory of the dream is that the girl approached us again as we were plotting ways to escape. She had just created another ornament, this one of a cartoony hedgehog character, supposedly from the same cartoon as before.

She asked the group at large, "I just made another ornament...who wants to have this one?" Several people, including myself, raised their hands, but she immediately walked over and gave it to me, even though I also had the other two. This is when I knew she must "like" me, which was exciting, because I definitely liked her.

My final memory is examining the detail of the ornament she'd made. It wasn't more than two or three inches tall, and yet each and every one of the hedgehog's quills had been finely and individually sculpted...it was so impressive, and I kept telling her so.

Tomato Plant Party Favor


Neko Case, one of my favorite music artists, was hosting a party in what looked like my grandparents' backyard as it appeared during my childhood. Back then they used to grow a garden, and indeed Neko had a garden there in the dream. My only clear memory is that as everyone was leaving the party, Neko tried to send them home with a tomato plant. I kept trying to politely refuse mine, insisting that it would probably die if I took it home, but Neko wouldn't take no for an answer.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Head-First Preacher


There was some kind of public rally that was more or less like a church service. It was held indoors, and the crowds were seated in rows of chairs as well as on bleachers along the side walls. A fat preacher I thought I recognized as a televangelist was screaming from a pulpit and the crowd was listening intently and responding enthusiastically.

The preacher was warning everyone to get right with God, because Jesus would be coming back at any time.

I was just sort of roaming the auditorium as a dispassionate observer of the whole affair. At one point, the fat preacher set his open Bible on the end of a table, then climbed up to the top of one of the sets of bleachers. He shouted out something to the effect of "God expects us to get into the Bible head first!!!"--and then he dove off the bleachers, deliberately aiming his head for the Bible on the table. His aim was true and his head loudly cracked on the table and snapped back as he hit the ground, limp and unconscious.

In addition to his weight, the preacher was not especially young, so there was a good chance this fall had killed him--it was severe enough to have done most anyone in. People were screaming, medics were rushing to his aid. I just stood in a state of shock. It had been a very disturbing thing to witness--especially knowing he'd just done it intentionally!

There was a separate, but also religiously-themed dream later. I was watching a show on TV where a supposedly Christian host was interviewing Will Ferrell. They were explaining how they'd become real-life friends, and Will Ferrell had accepted the Christian's challenge to follow some kind of religious program for a month to see if he could be converted. Ferrell seemed to be treating his host respectably while still being jokey.

Monday, June 20, 2011

An Auction with Mr. Gaiman


In the dream I owned the original art for a page from a comic book that Neil Gaiman had written (he's my favorite author in real life, though I'm actually more familiar with his prose than his comics work). The page in question featured Mr. Gaiman as one of the characters. He was shouting "squirrel!" in one panel, followed by five more panels of vague action I can't recall. Two panels had been left blank, but the others were in full color (which is rare for original comic art).

The art was framed on my wall, but for some reason I decided, quite on a whim, to sell it to make money for charity. I scanned the art and posted it on my art blog, announcing that I would start receiving bids. The winner got the art, and their payment would go straight to whatever charity.

Shortly after posting this on my blog, Neil Gaiman contacted me online and wanted to get involved in the effort. I have vague memories of eventually meeting him in person and coming up with creative ways to promote the auction.

I ultimately realized that I didn't really want to part with the artwork, and now I was sad that I'd posted it, because I felt like there really was no honorable way out. I can't really recall what happened next.

There was another dream involving a stray Siamese cat that hangs out where I work in real life. We feed him and are trying to tame him. In the dream, the cat showed up at my house with several kittens in tow. For the first time ever, the Siamese let me actually pet it. At this moment, my long-deceased dog Harley ran up to me. I shooed him away because I didn't want him to scare the cat away. Then I realized Harley hadn't been with us in years and felt guilty for shooing him, so I started calling him back.