Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Sitting on the Bleachers

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 28, 2010

I remember attending what looked like a high school football game. I never even attended these when I was actually in high school, so I have no idea why one turned up in my dreams.

I walked to the very top of the bleachers where little known country singer Mandy Barnett (an amazingly random, out-of-nowhere appearance!) was seated, wearing a red dress.

My last memory is the two of us talking.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Commercial Interruption

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 23, 2010

I had this dream the night before the NBC comedy, Community (one of the few shows I watch), was to have its second season premiere. At one point in my dream I was in a crowded cafeteria with my friend Richard (it looked like our old high school cafeteria).

Actress Gillian Jacobs, who plays Britta on the show, stopped by and sat down across from us. She immediately began promoting the fact that the season premiere of Community would be airing at 7 central that evening!

This means that I actually had a commercial inserted into one of my dreams. The future is here, people!

There was a little more brief conversation with Gillian. She showed me some kind of photo of her standing outside of a Wendy's. For whatever reason, it was supposed to be funny. I took it from her and went outside and wrote "BLAM!" on the photo in block letters with a Sharpie, then I came back and returned it to her.

For some reason the "BLAM!" was so funny to her. It cracked her up! But shortly after this she left. Richard and I continued our conversation and that's about all I remember.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Generic Grocery Store iPad & A Horrible Kiss

MORNING SEPTEMBER 22, 2010

I was in a grocery store walking down the cereal aisle. At one point the shelf was stocked with devices that looked like generic iPads. I plated around with one and really thought it was neat. Suddenly I realized I had been standing their for a full hour! I looked and found out that the generic iPads were something like $10, so I put one in my cart.
Unfortunately, I had some frozen goods in my shopping cart, and I knew they wouldn't still be good if I had been standing there for an hour, so, naturally, I returned them to the shelf!

For some reason I took the groceries to my parents' house. I unloaded them in the kitchen and then began playing with my generic iPad. It needed charging pretty soon, so I plugged it in and began preparing some type of cereal for supper. Then I was back on the generic iPad again, now chatting online with a girl I had been acquaintance-level friends with in high school. I'd kind of liked her back then, and in my dream she admitted she had always liked me as well and we should do something about it right now, even though she was married.

This whole conversation was interrupted when my parents called to check how things were going in their house (apparently I was house-sitting). As soon as I quit talking to them, I turned back to resume my online chat, but now it's as though the girl was actually there in person!

It felt really, really awkward (because she was married!) and I didn't want to be there. She insisted we kiss. So we kissed. It was a terribly awkward kiss. I was almost relieved--I thought surely she'd leave and end this weird situation because the kiss was so horrible. But she loved it! She exclaimed on and on about how it was one of the most amazing kisses ever. I had been there for the kiss, and I thought she was crazy for thinking this about it.

At some point in this dream there was a report on TV about Delaware Republican Senate nominee, Christine O'Donnell, who has been all over the news lately. Apparently the election was over and she had lost. She was literally crying on TV about how unfair it was.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Jellyfish Has Mile-Long Tentacles!

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 21, 2010

I was at my grandmother's house for a family get-together. It seemed like probably Thanksgiving or Christmas. The TV was on in one room, and some cable network was showing an all-day marathon of a classic 80's cartoon.

The cartoon was fictional, but it was supposedly one I had loved as a kid. It featured little elf-like creatures, not unlike Smurfs, though they were normal flesh tones instead of blue. They lived next to the sea, and their greatest enemy was a giant jellyfish who wanted to wipe out their town.

I recall watching a specific episode in which the tiny elf creatures were in their tiny submarines waging war with the jellyfish. The cartoon ceased to be whimsical and started to feel really intense during this battle.

I left the room for a moment and it was as if I was standing in line at a cafeteria. I saw a girl I used to know, and I talked to her about the show I was watching. But then the cafeteria was my grandmother's kitchen. Someone was standing by the counter and I explained to him what dire peril the elf-people were in. "The jellyfish is huge--it's tentacles are each a mile long," I told him.

The man explained how "we" (I guess he was one of the elf-people, even though he was normal size?) had slowly worn the jellyfish down, so that it was not at full strength. He was confident it would be beaten.

My last memory is sitting in the floor putting away a bunch of Legos. Apparently the whole adventure had really just been constructed out of these building blocks. There were Lego people resembling many of the major characters.

Monday, September 20, 2010

We Were at the Halloween Party

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

My friends and I were all at Lisa's upcoming Halloween party (I didn't notice until after waking up that none of us were even in costumes). Everyone had brought favorite scary or otherwise Halloween-appropriate movies to the party and we were to pick the one(s) we wanted to watch.

At some point I left the party for a moment and went out to my car. There was a fictional, overweight black guy standing in the driveway and we ended up talking. He apologized to me if something had "offended me" (I don't remember what he was talking about), and I assured him it hadn't.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Sesame Street Workshop

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 18, 2010

It was late in the morning on a Saturday morning (which is approximately when I was having this dream). I was walking up a long street in what looked like a neighborhood I lived in as a kid. At the end of the dream-street, there was what looked like a university campus.

As I approached the "campus", I realized that I had only just crawled out of bed. I hadn't showered, I still looked a slob, etc. But I shrugged it off and went on my way. The campus turned out to be some kind of Disney amusement park. I have vague memories of exploring some of its attractions.

My next clear memory is that it was now early evening. I had ridden in a taxi to a building where a few other people were gathering. Kevin Murphy of "Mystery Science Theater" and "RiffTrax" fame was with me. He was explaining why his compatriot, Bill Corbett, wasn't there. Apparently we had been selected to work with some of the original Sesame Street puppets in some kind of workshop.

I remember some lady sitting us on the floor in a cleared-off area of a large room (other areas of the room had other groups, apparently doing their own workshops). She told us that someone would bring in our Sesame Street puppets shortly. I was so excited to get to see/work with actual Henson puppets in person! But this is all I remember.

Ladder Lady and George

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 17, 2010

I don't remember where I was, but a really pretty girl asked if I could come into the next room and help her. In that room there was a large "ladder" against a wall, only the "ladder" looked more like a giant camera tripod. It was several feet tall.

The woman climbed this tripod-ladder to the very top and began doing some kind of work near the particularly high ceiling of the room. She told me I could hand her tools as she needed them. The problem was, she was wearing an impossibly short skirt and had equally impossibly nice legs. And here I was standing below her on the ladder waiting for her to call for tools. It took all of my reserve to be a gentleman and not stare like a mindless zombie.

So I was looking down at the floor when suddenly I heard a male voice ask for a tool. I looked up and saw the woman was no longer on the ladder, but not it was George Clooney. This didn't even seem weird at the dream, except I remember feeling a little relived that I was no longer in the awkward position with the hot girl.

George now came down the tripod-ladder and walked with me over to where two or three of my friends were. he began excitedly telling all of us about a new cologne he was developing.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Improv, Recyclables, and Ice Cream

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 12, 2010

In real life a couple of friends and I recently took part in an 8 week improv comedy class at a nearby college. It was loads of fun. In my dream, several of us from the class were attending one of the shows the real comedy troupe performs, but they were supposed to be "full participation", in which we were expected to perform as well.

I remember some bit about Lisa and I having trouble finding a park downtown when I first got there, but we finally made it to the little venue before I was terribly late. At the beginning of the show, they divided us in half. The first group would perform while the second group had to go outside and wait their turn. I was in the second group, and I felt it unfair we couldn't watch the first half perform while we waited.

I remember some vague bit about finally seeing the performance, but my next clear memory involves me being in a hotel room. A pretty blonde girl was also in the room, and we were packing our respective things. We didn't know each other, and we were making awkward small talk.

There was some decision about who was going to "take the recyclables down to the train." (This made sense to me in the dream, because I could see in my mind a big train that came through town every few hours, and you had to throw your bags of recyclables onto one of the cars as it passed) I told her I'd do this, so she wouldn't have to fool with it.

She told me that we could hang out again later if I wanted to, because she'd really enjoyed our conversation. Only she was afraid she didn't have anything good to wear. I told her the same thing she had on now would be fine. I helped her take her bags out of the hotel and into the parking lot. The outside area looked like two or three gas station/convenience stores standing side-by-side. One of them had been converted into an ice cream store, which I quickly pointed out to the girl.

Two very hairy men ran the ice cream store, which looked more like a mechanic's shop. In retrospect, the guys almost looked like human versions of video game characters Mario and Luigi. They told me about their new ice cream shop. The only thing left for them to do, they said, was to create a cool sign for the building. They explained how they wanted to surround their logo in the sign with actual old hubcaps and tires and things.

It turns out this is just what was in the bag of "recyclables" I was supposed to be lugging to the train, so I told them I'd trade it to them for some free ice cream for the girl and I.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Al Remembers the Attacks

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 11, 2010

On TV they were discussing the anniversary of "Pearl Harbor", but I know my brain meant "9/11", as today is the ninth anniversary, and it's been all over TV in the past few days, of course.

One segment on the news was a story about how "Weird Al" Yankovic remembered the attacks! It had documentary-style interview footage of Al remembering how, on that fateful morning, he was reading to an audience excerpts from his then-just-published (fictional) autobiography.

Cut to footage from that actual event. Al is reading a humorously embellished memory from his book, when he gets news of the attacks.

Somehow, from this, I saw footage of singer Imogen Heap and a little girl who was supposed to be her daughter. They were sitting at a table making crafts and discussing the attacks and "Weird Al" Yankovic's book.

Clearly, I need help.

Kidnapping Service

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 10, 2010

There was a commercial on TV for a company that would "kidnap" you and hold you captive for a set period of time if you paid them too. The voice-over explained the concept over a montage of women and men individually locked in the small room where "victims" were held. In one clip, the "victim" was riding one of those little personal motorized scooter devices around the room. It seems like I saw a story online years ago about people who were actually trying to start a paid "kidnapping" service in some city. I guess that memory rose up out of the forgotten subconscious for this bit of dream.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Murder on the News, Music, and More

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 9, 2010

First I remember watching a news story about a man who had killed two people during a roller coaster ride at a theme park! Somehow there was grainy footage of the actual ride in progress. They slowed it down to where you could vaguely tell what was going on in each of the cars.

One man was calmly reading a newspaper as the other passengers were screaming, waving their arms, and going about typical roller coaster behavior. Suddenly, as the coaster was cresting a huge hill, that man sat up and nonchalantly shoved the person next to him out of the car, and then one of the people in the car in front of him. He then poured the rest of a beverage he was holding over the side.

So anyway, this story was all over the news as I went to visit my parents' church (which looked fictional) with them for some reason. There was special music by a father/daughter duo who played a bluegrass-y type of music. The music isn't my most preferred type, but the duo were very good at it. And the girl was rather cute.

After the concert, I was standing in the back of the building at a snack counter. I remember I was wearing a new T-shirt that I supposedly loved. It was dark brown with some kind of text on it, but I can't recall what it said. Suddenly the girl from the music duo walked up to get some snacks.

She was cute, though maybe not as cute as I'd originally thought. Also, she was way younger than I had expected (still an adult, but barely). We struck up a conversation and ended up talking for a long time.

We went outside and began to take a long walk in the woods as we talked. I suddenly realized I had on my regular shoes instead of my walking shoes. Apparently my parents lived just right across the street from where we were, and I knew I had a pair of good walking shoes at their house. So I asked the girl if she minded if I went and got them.

The girl waited outside while I went in to change shoes. The TV was on inside the house, and they were continuing to cover the murder from earlier. Now they had confirmed the man was apparently some formerly famous actor.

Then I was in what looked like a furnished basement, and I found a copy of "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" on DVD (in reality that movie isn't on DVD yet--it's only just, very unfairly, bombed in theaters). I love the movie, so I was excited. I started watching it immediately.

Suddenly, during the first scene of the movie, I remembered the girl was outside waiting on me and hurried back out of the house.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Substitute Autographs at DragonCon

MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 2, 2010

In real life I'll be attended my first DragonCon in Atlanta this weekend. My nerdy self is particularly looking forward to some of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 / RiffTrax panels with those guys. Therefore we end up with this little snippet of a dream memory:

I was at DragonCon, waiting in line to meet Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy of RiffTrax/MST3K. They were sitting at a table together, but they wouldn't sign autographs when you met them. At the end of the table was a young woman who scribbled each of their initials on a scrap piece of paper. And that was your "autograph".

Even in the dream, I found this extremely weird.