Sunday, May 31, 2009

Ghost Hunting

The second of two dreams from this night, the first is posted below this post:

I was with a fictional girl I seemed to like a lot. It was daytime, but we were "ghost hunting" near a fictional old school (I'm not one who actually does ever "ghost hunt", as some do seem to enjoy). We had a special guide to help us find ghosts in the dream: Beetlejuice (specifically the version from the 90's cartoon, not the movie version)!

Why one would need to ghost hunt if you were already in cahoots with Beetlejuice--a ghost--is beyond me. But it's what we were doing. Beetlejuice disappeared into one of the abandoned buildings on the campus, saying he felt a ghost was likely hiding there. He said he would call back to us if he found anything. He never called back, so we began calling for him, looking around the building.

We never could find him, so we decided he might have meant the ghost was in the "other abandoned school building", and began walking to where we apparently knew it was. This took us down a path through the woods.

At one point we saw another girl on the trail, coming toward us in the opposite direction. My friend and I hushed our talking, afraid that this girl might hear about the ghosts, which would have apparently been a negative thing. At the moment the girl actually passed us, I could see there were really two girls, and they were so deep in conversation they seemed to not even notice us. I did wonder how I could possibly have only seen one of the two girls until the very moment they passed us. Somehow I never wondered, as I do now, if this might be one of the ghosts we were hunting.

By now we were coming off the path in the woods onto a wide gravel road. There were huge "trenches" on either side of the road, and they contained neat little rows of identical garden homes. The only other scenery was more trees. My female companion and I were getting closer and more flirtateous as we walked. At one point I picked her up and began to carry her for a short distance.

Around this time she began to express concern as to how we'd know where Beetlejuice was trying to lead us. At this moment a sufficiently creepy creaking noise drew our attention to the fact that the door to one of the garden homes was swinging open of its own accord.

Without question we came down off the gravel road and entered the house with the open door. As we did so, I noticed over my shoulder that those two girls from before were now walking down the gravel road, and had apparently been right beind us. But I thought they had passed us going the other way some minutes before...?

Once inside the house it was apparent that no one currently lived there. It wasn't abandoned, however, as everything was in pristine condition, just waiting for new tenants. An overweight young man with glasses, a beard, and a ponytail enthusiastically greeted us. He took us into a back room with large windows, where two or three other people--obviously part of a "ghost hunting" team--were seated around a table.

One of these other people was my dad, which, you just have to know, would so NOT ever be doing anything like this. But I accepted it easily in the dream. My dad, seeming to be the leader of this group, explained to my friend and I that they had recorded what they felt was conclusive evidence of a ghost on the premises in the form of a diembodied voice.

As he cued up the tape recorder he tried to prepare us for what we were about to hear. He also lamented the fact that their "seismograph" was broken, so he couldn't take readings while the recording played. He gave me a pen and paper and asked if I could do it. I confirmed that what he wanted was for me to just draw the wavy "up-and-down" lines as the voice fluctuated, and then asked how in the world I was supposed to do that with any sort of accurancy or meaning?

Nontheless, I drew wavy lines on paper as the recording of the ghost voice began. At first it only sounded like so much white noise, as these things tend to do. But then there was a noise that seemed like some kind of whisper. The whisper gradually grew louder and more clear...

Once it got loud enough, it sounded less like a whisper and more like someone speaking through one of those monotone electronic voice boxes...and the previously mumbly words seemed to become more clear. "Joel Osteen, Joel Osteen, Joel Osteen..." it chanted. I exchanged perplexed looks with the others. The voice continued, "Joel Osteen, Joel Osteen, Adam and Eve, Jesus Christ..." and right on with a littany of mostly religious-themed words. It gave me goosebumps and was freaking me out more than a little.

One of the ghost hunter girls at the table suddenly got a call on her cell phone. She rolled her eyes and announced it was some guy who was persuing her but who she didn't like. She picked up the phone and began talking to him anyway. Meanwhile, the creepy monotone ghost voice continued in it's neverending list of random words and names. I finally became so creeped out that I woke up.

The Tattoo Lady


The first of two dreams this night. The second one is posted above:

All prior details are lost on me, but apparently I was going to be in some sort of play or other type performance situation in which I needed to have a lot of tattoos. I was sent to a tattoo artist who could make realistic-looking fake tattoos that would last for a short amount of time.
(For what it's worth, I don't actually have any tattoos and am not the type who would get one.)

The tattoo lady was an attractive blonde woman, albeit covered in a bit too much body art for my tastes. She had a very sexy, filirtateous, yet approachable demeanor. She explained to me that since my "character" was nerdy (really, just my "character"?), all the tattoos I had would be nerdy, and therefore be funny.

After I made her assure me these tattoos would all be completely removable, we began. Using a hand-held device that worked more or less like a laser printer against the skin, she quickly scanned a full-color tattoo of Optimus Prime from the 80's Transformers cartoon on my left thigh. I laughed and asked if she was going to put Megatron on my right one. She said she was, but the character that came out of the scanning device looked more like Soundwave to me.

She then explained to me that I would have to come up with all the other nerdy tattoo ideas on my own, and bring her art reference for them. So I left her tattoo parlor, exiting into what looked like the hallways of my workplace, then going into the master control room where I spend most of my time there.

On a yellow legal pad I began writing and sketching ideas. I made a column for "nerdy" thigns I genuinely like, and a column for tattoos I just thought would be funny. The "real" list had things like Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Kermit the Frog, Back to the Fture, and other various characters/properties I've always loved. The silly column basically featured references to in-jokes between friends and I that would be pointless to recount in detail here.

I took my list back back down the hall to the sexy tattoo lady, and walked in on her with a girl who, if she wasn't her girlfriend, was someone she obviously felt very comfortable with. They assured me I wasn't interrupting anything, but this, naturally, is where the dream ended.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Pages and Props


First I remember sitting out on the front steps of my workplace with a laptop computer (I, sadly, don't actually own one). I was watching a YouTube video clip of an appearance that Bettie Page had supposedly made on Late Night with David Letterman back in the 80's. Even though it was the 80's, Bettie only looked marginally older than in her classic 50's pin up photos, and she was even dressed in similar period lingerie for the interview, only partly covered by some type of robe.

After watching this clip (which fascinated me because I didn't know such a thing existed), I went back into the storage bay at work. Supposedly some vandals had struck over the weekend, and we were trying to repair things ourselves (however, "we" consisted of my friend Eric, who doesn't work there, and some random other guy). The vandalism consisted largely of graffiti on the walls, though I can't remember what it said/depicted.

Eric, this other guy, and I apparently were now roommates in a small house that we'd just moved into.
The predominate color scheme of the house was grays and cool blues. I vaguely remember going back there after work, and we were all in our separate rooms. I was getting ready to take a shower, but then I did't know how we were going to decide who took one first. That's when I realized we each had our own bathroom/shower in our bedroom, which was convenient.

My next memory seems to be that I'm in my room making my bed in the early morning, and I'm missing my "old" roommate-free apartment (the one I actually live in).

Next, Eric and I are in some kind of entertainment store. The kind that sells CDs, DVDs, and related merchandise at unneccessarily expensive prices. Given the prices, I wasn't really considering buying anything, so I was quickly growing bored. Eric was looking for deals in the used CD bins and such, and I was just browsing to kill time.

I saw a Bettie Page book at one point and flipped through it (an apparent throwback to her appearance earlier in the dream). One thing featured within the book was a comic book story in which Bettie had adventures drawn in the Dan DeCarlo/"Archie" style.

Then I became aware that there were authentic movie props on display in this store, and I recognized a couple of things from Hellboy 2, eventhough they weren't things that are really in that movie. Some kind of ancient-looking weapons and body armor or something.

And this is about all I can recall.

Friday, May 29, 2009



I was outside in a small, wooded area. A large iguana was slowly climbing the side of one tree. While I regretted not having my real camera with me, I did promptly take out the cell phone and begin snapping pictures. The creature didn't seem to mind my being there at all. In fact, he even seemed to almost "pose" for the pictures (I don't mean in an anthropomorphic sense--he simply seemed to understand that he was being photographed).

I must have called someone to talk about the lizard, because it seems I was explaining it to someone even as it happened. Then the iguana climbed down from the tree, only now it was a lemur instead.

It walked up to me and rubbed around my legs affectionately, as a cat would do. I knelt down and began to pet the lemur. After a few moments it bit at my hand, also much like a cat might do when it was tired of being petted. I backed off from it after this.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Hurry UP!


I was at work and was asked to deliver a package to some business that was roughly a two hour drive away (this is not typically a part of my job). The problem with this was that it was already getting close to the end of the shift, and it looked like I'd probably be clocking out late by the time I'd made my trip and returned. This was complicated by the fact that I was supposed to see the new Pixar movie, Up, after work and did not want to miss it!

I vaguely recall the drive to the place. It was apparently some kind of charity or ministry organization. A middle aged woman greeted me and was very grateful that I'd delivered the package. She introduced me to the rest of the very small staff, who were all seated around a circular table as though they'd been having a meeting.

One person on the staff was a girl, probably a little younger than me. Suddenly, most of the other employees began dropping all kinds of not-so-subtle hints that this girl and I should go out together, and it was obviously embarrassing the both of us. There was some kind of volunteer event the girl was going to be working at, and they kept suggesting I could help her by volunteering as well. I think I eventually agreed to it. (I actually found to girl to be fairly appealing--I was just put off by being nearly forced into the thing by others.)

I once again have vague memories of returning to work and rushing to make the movie. Then more vague memories of actually seeing the movie. I could see specific scenes in the dream, but I can't remember them anymore (and since the movie isn't quite out yet, they were all obviously fictional scenes).

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Conan's First Tonight


In my dream I was lying in bed unable to sleep, so I went into the living room and turned on the TV. I was surprised to see the first episode of Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show was premiering (even though it was something like 3am, and the real thing doesn't come on for another week).

The opening comedy bit wasn't up to par, but it quickly got better, and I was enjoying it. Then came the interviews. I think the first guest was supposed to be Jack Black, and he seemed to be really strung out on drugs.

It took it a while to dawn on me that the set looked a lot like my bedroom, except the furniture was like what I had growing up, and the interview desk and couch were where the bed would normally be. More than being freaked out by the resemblance to my room, I simply found it odd that they didn't have a fancy, expensive set for the show.

About the time I noticed this, Conan announced that the "bedroom" set was a fake. He b
egan destroying it with a sledgehammer, revealing a more professional looking set behind it.

Eventually Conan announced the "contest winner" who apparently had won a trip to a taping of the show. Conan dialed up her number live on the air, but as it rang, he handed the phone to David Spade (I'm as baffled as you are). A girl's voice answered, David Spade introduced himself and instantly began berating her for being a Conan fan, without any mention of the contest.

Then, snickering, David handed the phone over to me, because I was apparently on the set now. Seeing as how we seemed to be trying to prank the winner before telling her she won, I broke into mock tears on the phone with her. How could she dare to enter this contest, I asked, when so many other people deserved it more. Then I handed the phone to Conan, who officially told her she'd won. It was all supposedly very funny in the dream world.

Around this time my parents showed up at my apartment, asking if I was ready to leave (I guess I was no longer on the Conan set). I wasn't really ready to leave (wherever we were going), so I told them I'd go get ready. It seemed to be very, very early morning now.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Freeing Puppies


I was out in the downtown area of some fictional little city one morning. Someone had left puppies on the doorstep of a veterinary clinic, but it was the weekend, so the place was closed. Cruelly, the person who left them had individually and tightly sealed each puppy in a semi-transparent nylon stocking. It seemed they had been there for quite some time before I found them, and they were now barely moving.

I cut the three or four puppies free from their stockings. I was pleased to see they didn't seem, once freed, to be as close to death as they'd seemed before. Indeed, they all ran off down the alley beside the building into a grassy field after I released them. I ran through the field calling after them, but I don't think I ever did find them, because the grass came up to my knees and I couldn't see anything for very far.

I came back to the sidewalk and noticed one other stocking contained a tiny, tiny puppy. It basically looked like a puppy fetus, and it was pretty gross. I wanted to cut it free, but I was actually kind of afraid to for some reason. I don't remember if I did anything, because the dream sort of changed at this point.

The vet's that all of this had been taking place outside of was now a small house, and several people, myself included, were staying in it. It's like we were all on a vacation or trip of some sort, and this was our shared lodging.

The house was filthy, and I felt really germ-o-phobic about staying there, especially eating anything or sleeping on the dirty sheets. At one point I walked into the kitchen and a young girl was openly performing a lewd act on a much older man--just right there in the kitchen. It was not sexy ,it was gross and unsettling!

There was something else about kittens running free in this house, and I think they were supposed to be the "kittens" I had set free earlier on in the dream.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Disney Dino Ride


I was at Disney World with my cousin and his parents. My last real life trip to Disney World was actually with them, back in the early 90's. The early part of this dream felt a lot like that trip.

We were in line for water ride. It basically had the look and feel of the actual "Jungle Cruise" ride--going down the river in a large boat. Except this one was supposed to be really intense and exciting, like a roller coaster on the water. We were watching other people on the ride as we moved slowly through the line. At one point, the boat came upon a whirlpool. The water kept spinning until it all went down a drain at the bottom of the "river". The boat was too big to fit down the drain, so it effectively plugged the hole and just sat there in the mud, stranding all of the passengers.

At this point, a couple of Tyrannosaurus Rex's began approaching, but the boat obviously couldn't go anywhere. Suddenly, my companions and I were in the mud with others instead of watching from the sidelines. We ran from the boat and hid among the tall grasses and plants on the shoreline.

From our position we could see a field on the other side of the empty riverbed in which a large number of brachiosaurs were feeding. As we looked at them, my cousin asked me if I had ever seen them before. I told him no, I didn't think Disney had this attraction the last time I was there. I began to try to remember exactly what year I had last visited, and if it was before or after the Jurassic Park movie had come out (because apparently this ride was inspried by it).

There was one other dream I recall in which I was getting up early in the morning (but I was staying at someone else's house, apparently). Halfway through getting ready in the bathroom, I realized I'd set my alarm wrong and had gotten up a couple of hours earlier than I needed to. This, obviously, was a very exciting dream.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Speedy School Shopping Cart


I was online looking at a strange web comic strip. The characters (a dog and some other animal, I think) were huddled near each other, cold and wet. One of them had comically large chattering teeth. The strip was actually funny, but I don't remember why. It made me want to do web comic of my own--but then, many things in real life do, too, and I've yet to seriously make one.

Next I was in school again. Physically it looked like my old high school campus, though otherwise it seemed like being in college. I had four classes on my schedule, but somehow I only attended three of them during the course of the week, always inadvertently skipping one of them (I think it was the math class) . I knew I had signed up for it, but it didn't show up on my actual schedule, and rather than looking into the matter, I just didn't go to that class.

I knew my mom was coming to pick me up after school one day. The building was almost empty at this point. For some reason I was pushing a grocery store shopping cart down the hallways as I made may way to leave. Occasionally I would run as fast as I could and then stand on the edge of the cart as it coasted along, repeating the motions each time it slowed down.

Whenever I'd coast with the cart it would be moving at unlikely speeds. Sometimes I could even lift my body and let it trail horizontally behind the speeding buggy. It felt like flying, and was rather wonderful. Once, when zipping along, I noticed I was approaching the heavy double doors at the end of the hallway at great speed. In some move that only makes sense in dream logic, I was able to reach out from my position behind the cart and push open the doors so that the cart continued to fly through them without ever colliding with them. I do remember feeling a pain in my shoulder as I did so, and hoping I hadn't seriously damaged it.

After coming through those doors I was finally out in the parking lot. It was very dark outside, like the middle of the night. My mom was waiting for me in her car (despite all this flashback-to-school stuff, everyone and everything looked as it does today). As I approached the car I began to ponder that mysterious class I had been avoiding, and I worried that I had truly been missing assignments and might already be too far behind to make up.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Chick-Fil-A and Cardboard Chick


In reality there is a Chick-Fil-A restaurant located across the street from where I work, and I love Chick-Fil-A. (For anyone reading who doesn't have that restaurant in their region, it's basically a very high-end fast-foodish type place, especially famous for their chicken sandwiches).

In my dream, I heard they were going to close the location near my work due to the recession. This confused me, given I've never seen the place not crowded--but it also upset me greatly, as the only other locations anywhere near me are not near enough to ever be convenient.

The dream somehow shifted to where I was supposedly at work, only it looked more like my apartment. Eric was there hanging out with me. I suddenly had to go to the bathroom, but instead of going to my own (or to the one "at work") I excused myself and walked across the street to the Chick-Fil-A to use theirs.

Once inside, I somehow found out that they had a very striclty endorsed rule against using the restroom if you weren't a paying customer. I also found out that it was now a sit down/dine in type of establishment, complete with waiters and waitresses, etc.

Not being able to to go the bathroom otherwise, I allowed myself to be seated at a table. The waiter asked what I'd like to drink and I asked for just water, because as soon as he went away, I was going to run to the restroom and then leave the store! Eric suddenly showed up and sat down at the table and ordered something to drink for himself.

There was one other dream. In the dream, I was staying at my parents' house, because I actually was staying there this night, for Mother's Day. I was dreaming that it was already morning, and I was taking what would later be my actual morning walk through the neighborhood.

I walked past one house where there was a girl in the driveway trying to load things into the back of a pickup truck. She was around my age with short, dark hair. It looked like most of what she was loading was large, flattened cardboard boxes. There was so much material in so many sizes that she was having a good deal of trouble getting it all packed in, so I stopped to help her.

In the process of loading the cardboard we talked and got to know each other a little bit. Once we finished, she thanked me, and then we both continued on my walk. It wasn't as though she was deliberately joining me, but just as if my dream forgot about her truck, and she was simply continuing on her own way now, which happened to be the same way I was going.

I couldn't decide if I was really "interested" in the girl or not, and was pondering whether or not to express some sort of interest in talking to her further, request her number, whatever. Suddenly, she asked me for my number. I took out a piece of cardboard that I was aparently still holding and began to write my number on it.


Saturday, May 9, 2009

Dirty Thieves, Crooked Men, & Reference Material


Really this is more of potpourri of dream clips than a single coherent story.

First, for some reason I lived with my parents in a huge house. We came home to realize our the house had been broken into while we were gone. The thieves had not actually taken anything, but somehow we knew they had "scanned" every item of value with a device that told them it's worth and stored it's location in memory, so they could come back later at their convenience and actually remove what they wanted.

I went to my room in the house (which was, apparently, as big as an apartment itself) to see if they had scanned any of my stuff. They had left a folder full of adult magazines on the floor in front of my TV. I realized one of them had Amy Adams in it. I felt a little disappointed that she had "stooped so low"...nonetheless I promptly forgot my original concern about the thieves plotting to steal my stuff.

Next I remember in what looked like a fictional, aging apartment complex. All of the apartment buildings were arranged in a tight circle around a tiny lawn. There were a series of rickety wooden bridges running between the upper story apartments, criss-crossing with tree limbs and everything. It was actually pretty neat looking.

I was hiding on one of this bridges, looking down on what looked like some kind of birthday party taking place on the lawn below. One of the people there was a portly, balding old man in a wife-beater tee, shorts, and socks. I somehow knew the man was a bad person, and I was keeping tabs on him, but I can't remember the reasons why.

Finally, in real life I saw the new Star Trek movie last night. As I lay in bed later, I was thinking that I needed to draw a "Jennifer & Bueno" Star Trek spoof, in keeping with the summer movie spoof series I'm doing. The last thing I remember before sleeping is settling on the idea for exactly what the spoof would be... in the dream I'm walking through this room that looks like the deck of the Starship Enterprise. I was looking at the captain's chair (central to the idea for my Jenn & Bueno spoof), and I took out a sketchbook and began sketching how it looked, for use as a reference for when I did the illustration later. Some guy came up to me and told me to move along, as I was holding up the "line" by standing there drawing.