Monday, April 28, 2008

Scarlett Jo's Cookie


I was at a party or some type of gathering on the front lawn of a residence at dusk. At one point I went into the house and found my way to a bedroom upstairs. In that bedroom was a huge display of Marvel comics memorabilia. Marvel founder Stan Lee and actress Scarlett Johansson were in the room as well. It turns out a Marvel comics documentary was being filmed and Scarlett was the host.

I passively observed Scarlett narrating a segment, and then she spoke to me when she took a break. She asked me if I'd go to the kitchen and bring her a cookie. Only she specified that she didn't like things that were very sweet, so please to make sure it wasn't a particularly sugary/sweet cookie. Obediently enough, I made my way to the kitchen to find such a cookie.

Even though this house looked like a very ordinary residence, there was an actual chef in the kitchen, with the uniform and toque and everything. I put in my very specific request for a not-especially-sweet cookie, and he said he'd make it himself.

There was a large, refrigerated unit not unlike the type you see in an ice cream parlor that displays all the different flavors. Only this container displayed all different "flavors" of cookie dough. I don't remember the specifics, but the chef chose about five flavors that had very deliberately sugary names. He squashed them all together and handed the lump to me, telling me to meld it into the shape of a big cookie.

I explained one more time that she didn't want a sweet cookie. He just grinned knowingly, wiggling his eyebrows, and motioned for me to go ahead and make the cookie. I decided that it was no big deal; if she didn't like her cookie, then she just didn't like her cookie. I began to knead the cookie dough into the proper shape. It was a biggish cookie, about the circumference of a soft ball.

At this point a UPS delivery man showed up, only he wasn't a man but a teenager. He delivered two packages, which I had to sign for (the chef was now busy putting the final touches on the cookie himself). The delivery-boy seemed very suspicious...somehow simply not legit. I began to feel unsafe accepting his parcels.

Then suddenly the smaller of the two boxes fell to the ground and a black, beetle-like bug ran out. The delivery boy cursed and fled, as though he had been caught in the act. Somehow I knew this was no ordinary bug, but something that had been deviously sent to this house to somehow harm those of us in it. But the bug had disappeared under some appliances, so now there was no telling where it was or where it would appear next.

After some time, I located the bug in a closet and madly began trying to stomp it to death. It kept deftly dodging my feet, so I reached down and managed to pick it up. It was very clearly the evil bug when I grabbed it, but it immediately became an empty Fruit Roll-Ups wrapper when I touched it. I was perplexed, but just to be safe, I tore the wrapper in half...and it shuddered in my hands as if in pain as I ripped it....and that's about all I remember.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Hate and Orange


First I remember driving some place in a van that was not my own (I think possibly it was supposed to belong to my workplace). I've never driven a van, and in the dream I was having a little trouble getting used to it. Someone was in the passenger seat. I don't remember who they were, but I remember that they talked a lot.

Between the distraction of their talking and my being uncomfortable driving the van, I nearly ran off the road at one point into a guardrail, but was able to correct in time.

Next I remember walking through a series of hallways that looked like they belonged in a school, though they were very wide and actually had businesses in them, so it was like a city street contained in a hallway.

I was walking with a fictional middle-aged couple and their two little boys who were probably each somewhere around 9 or 10 years old. We passed one of the room-businesses in the hall which bore a hanging sign over the door that said "The Church of Hate".

There was a middle-aged couple with two young boys entering into the Church of Hate--the family almost perfectly mirrored the family I was hanging out with, though they were distinct individuals. They saw us and immediately began making derisive, hateful comments about us.

The hate-mother said something especially nasty about one of the regular-mother's sons, and the regular-mother just snapped and physically attacked the hate-mother. (In hindsight the regular-mother kind of reminds me of Mrs. Weasley in the Harry Potter books, the way she was so fiercely protective of her family. The hate-mother was kind of like Kathy Bates in Misery).

The regular-husband soon broke up the fight and the hate-family went on into their church, but not before the mother barked a warning that we'd all pay, or something to that effect.

Then I made my way to a classroom, and was late. I took the only open seat left and listened to the lesson. We were supposed to all write a paragraph inspired by the word, "orange". (In real life I'm working on a series of art with my characters, Jenn & Bueno, in which each piece is inspired by a color--and orange is the only one to stump me so far).

People then had to get up and read theirs. I read mine--I can't remember what it was about, but I remember it was pitiful. The teacher then reminded me that I hadn't followed all of whatever rules we were supposed to use for this essay anyway.

A girl sitting in a desk to my right read hers next. I really liked it, and it reminded me of all the things mine should have been. We she sat back down, we talked about it. She was really shy, but cute.

Then I had to go to the restroom, so I left the class. When I was in the hallway, I crossed paths with the hate-mother. She got up in my face and was spewing all kinds of vitriol. I was trying my best to just ignore her and get away, but she kept following me.

Then I somehow came into an open common area amid the hallways where many people were gathered. I saw the shy girl from the class. She was wearing a green coat and skirt, along with pair of tall, high-heeled boots that were rather sexy, but had a very strange, unlikely design. They weren't so much "boots", as just high-heel shoes with a series of thick, leather straps wrapped horizontally at intervals around the leg up to the knee, with one long strap running vertically down the side to connect all the horizontals, the final connection being made at the heel of the shoe.

There was some other dream that was separate from all of the rest in which someone was in my apartment showing me a gun. They began randomly firing it--inside my apartment--to show me how it worked. I was freaking out--not for my safety, because I knew they wouldn't shoot me with it (at least not on purpose)--but because of all the bullet-holes and damage it was causing in my home.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Theft and a Puppet Show


I visited a fictional comic store. It was run by one of my favorite cartoonists, Ben Caldwell. In the dream he collected classic movie posters, and the walls of the comic store were adorned with them.

At one point the store was raided by people in uniform...they looked sort of like police, but not in a traditional sense. I'm not certain who they were supposed to be. At any rate, they began violently removing all the posters from the walls. Some of them they took with them, and others they destroyed. Once their job was done, they left.

Then Ben got a group of people who had been in the store, including myself, to sign up for a puppet show he was going to be performing for some kids. We all promptly began practicing. The "puppets" were nothing more than small shapes cut from colored construction paper with faces drawn on them (some had the plastic "googly" eyes as well). Each shape was glued onto a Popsicle stick that you could use as a handle to "control" the puppet.

There was some kind of choreography where we were supposed to make the puppets assemble together in a shape resembling the NBC peacock logo.

Then the children arrived and we began to put on the show, which I only have vague memories of.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Meet the Beatles


I was watching an interview with the Beatles on television. It was a modern day interview, but all four Beatles were there and they looked like they did in the latter days of the band.
Each Beatle was wearing a powder blue suit.

The room they were in did not look like a TV studio set, but rather just a very plain room. They were seated around a rectangular table along with the middle-aged woman who was conducting the interview.

In the dream I heard specific questions and specific answers. John Lennon talked the most. (But after waking I couldn't remember any of the specific words.)

At one point, the hostess cut away for a "commercial break". At that moment, it was as if I wasn't watching on a TV, but was watching from the same room, because I observed the five of them all interacting candidly while the supposed cameras weren't rolling.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Waiter, There's A Premonition In My Soup!


For some reason I spent the night at my grandmother's house (this hasn't actually happened since I was a kid, but the dream took place in modern times). I remember packing up my things to leave the next day.

I got in my car and drove over an hour towards home. At some point near home (it was dark now), I stopped and attended a church. Later, as I was leaving the church, I realized I had left all of my things at my grandmother's. I had to drive all the way back to pick them up, and then make the trek towards home all over again.

Later, or possibly in another dream entirely, I remember being in a crowded restaurant. I was dining with someone, but I can't remember who. As we ate, I happened to notice a man being seated at one of the nearby tables. He was alone and looked very stoic.

Somehow I received a premonition that this man had guns and was about to kill everyone in the restaurant (or as many as he could)...I don't know how I knew it, but I just "knew" it for a fact. I was filled with dread. I didn't know how long we had before he started, so I wasn't sure what the most expedient course of action would be.

At this point in the real world, some stack of things stored under my bed fell over and make a loud sound. It woke me up and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

Actors of the Sepia-Toned Stage


I remember none of the "story" of this dream. I only remember that myself, along with Richard, Jessica, Katie, and possibly a couple of other people I know, were going to act in a play. I remember scenes of us practicing, and helping to prepare the props on stage ahead of time. I remember at one point we were sitting in the empty auditorium having a chat while looking up at the stage and imagining what it was going to be like to perform up there for a crowded house. (For perspective, I have no actual experience participating in these sort of things).

The reason this dream stands out to me is because, while I usually dream in full color, I remember this one being in a sort of sepia tone. Everything seemed to be tinted in shades of yellow and brown.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

An Author Tells All


First I remember driving through a city, possibly Atlanta, GA, and seeing a huge billboard. The billboard featured and promoted one of the old characters I used to often draw. Rather than feeling like someone was stealing from me, I felt a little excited to see one of my characters on a big billboard. I also felt a burning need to find out what exactly was being promoted.

I remember talking to Richard about it, and he said he'd seen those billboards around, too, and had been meaning to tell me about them.

Then I was in the car with Katie, taking her to show her the original billboard. I parked my car at a gas station across the street and got out to take a picture of the sign. After snapping a few shots, I went inside the gas station, which looked like a restaurant inside. I can't remember what I did there. After a while, Katie came in and said she was tired of waiting in the car.

Then the dream changed to where I was talking to an author about the books he wrote. It may possibly have been Stephen King, as I've read a few of his books lately. He told me the story for his latest book, and as he spoke, I could see it in my mind like a movie:

There was a young man in the hospital for a sickness. One day he was visited by a man with a strangely scarred face. The scarred-man showed much sympathy towards the hospital-man, and yet the latter did not understand why.

The man in the hospital had gone to summer camp every year as a child. There had always been a group of bullies at the summer camp that gave he and some of the other kids a hard time. The kid they gave the hardest time was an especially awkward little kid who just lived in his own world and did weird things all the time. There was a camp counselor who was very kind to and protective of the kids who were taunted by the bully kids.

They had a bonfire party on the last night of camp. The bully kids knew the awkward outcast kid liked fireworks, so they gave him a bunch and convinced him to throw them in the bonfire all at once. When he did, it blew up the whole camp and killed almost everyone.

The man who was now in the hospital as an adult had been one of the few survivors that night long ago. He suddenly realize the badly scarred man that had now come to visit him had been the friendly counselor from the camp--badly scarred from the explosion, of course--and he had never known before now that he had survived.

This was supposed to be such a shocking ending to the story, and in the logic of the dream it seemed to me genius.

Then I was looking through a stack of ratty old paperbacks I had found somewhere. I think perhaps they were supposed to have once belonged to one of my family members.

One of the paperbacks was some kind of tawdry vampire/romance novel. It had a painted picture on the cover that looked like it could have been done by Boris. The foreground was a well-built man with long, blonde hair sitting on a sofa (you could tell he was the vampire of the story). Behind him, near a door in the background, was an attractive woman in a white, sheer nightgown.

The woman's face had a hologram sticker on it, so that when you turned it one way you saw her face, and when you turned it another you saw a skull. I flipped through the novel and saw there were many of these hologram pictures throughout the book. I found it to be very strange, and more than a little cheesy.

The Nerd of the Ring *PLUS* Muppets in a Movie


(This is a long one, people. But probably pretty entertaining.)

Richard came over to my place wanting to go somewhere, but I had to feed my dogs, Einstein and Harley first. (Harley has been dead for 3 years or so, and Einstein lives with my parents, not with me, but none of this mattered in my dream).

Then Richard, Jessica, Cailey and I were all at the video store looking at movies. We got in the checkout line but it was moving really slow. Suddenly Richard and I noticed that Jessica had helped herself behind the counter and was ringing up her own movies. Cailey was sitting on top of the counter playing with a pile of "free rental" coupons. She was even sharing them with random customers, which I'm sure she wasn't supposed to be doing.

The video store was inside a mall, because we left there and went to other stores. Richard and I went to a toy store. There was a large display in the store of a life size Lord of the Rings game. It basically consisted of a huge, fake dragon (supposedly Smaug from The Hobbit), guarding a replica of the One Ring (for Lord of the Rings).

I played the game, which involved taking a fake sword and doing battle with the fake dragon, which flew through the air around your head, constantly attacking you while you tried your best to get the Ring. Even though it was fake, it was very disconcerting and a little bit frightening having this huge dragon constantly dive-bombing you and nipping at you.

Finally, I managed to hit the dragon in a certain place with my sword that deactivated it. It fell lifeless to the ground. I took the Ring as my prize for winning the game.

Leaving the store, I told Richard the ring felt actually hot in my hand, and actually evil, as if it were the real Ring. He told me it might actually be, in which case I should definitely get rid of it, ASAP.

We exited the mall, which looked like an actual mall in this area which has a river behind it. We walked up to the river, but in the dream world, the river lay at the bottom of some rocky ledges (they were only a few feet high). I knew I would have to throw the ring deep into the water of the river, in hopes no one would ever find it.

Near the river's shore, at the very base of one of the rock ledges was an assembly of medieval-looking people. I understood them to be the cast of "Monty Python's Spamalot" (which recently toured in my area, and I regretted not being able to go and see it).

By now the Ring was very, very heavy in my hands (at least as heavy as a bowling ball), and getting hotter as well. I looked at it, and the fiery, elvish inscription was now showing. I was actually starting to get really scared.

Suddenly, the center opening of the ring drew shut to the size of a pinhole, leaving the ring almost a solid mass of gold, and nearly unbearably heavy. In a panic, I threw it off the ledge towards the river. It was so heavy, however, that it just barely went over the edge, bounced down the rocks, and landed in the very shallow waters on the edge of the shore.

I felt a sudden shock of dread in this failed disposal and woke up.


"Muppets in a Movie"

I had another dream after going back to sleep. My dad was in my apartment very early one morning, and we were waiting to meet my mom. He had to make a call and for some reason had to use my cell phone.

While he used my phone, I walked outside. It looked like the neighborhood I used to live in when I was a teenager. I decided to take a walk.

Then the dream changed so that it was like I was watching a movie. It happened to be a Muppet movie of some kind, because it was Kermit walking through the same neighborhood.

Kermit arrived at a house where many of the other Muppets were staying. Piggy greeted him enthusiastically at the door. There were a few moments of Muppet-y antics inside the home. Then Kermit met up with Fozzie, who was distressed.

Fozzie had found a the Ring, and needed to get rid of it, but didn't know how.

I can't remember what happened next, except I remember a scene of the movie where all the Muppets from the the house were out on the front lawn, and Kermit walked away, as if to resume his earlier walk.

Then my alarm went off.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Waiting on the Show


There was a strange thread of dreams early on that I can't remember with great detail. In the first clear memory, I was with Richard and Jessica. We were at the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta, GA for a They Might Be Giants concert (this, no doubt, is inspired by the fact that we actually did attend two TMBG shows last month).

We had arrived early, but found it very odd that there was literally no one else in the venue except for some employees. After waiting for some time, we suddenly "remembered" that this show was to be held at some other venue.

We all got into the car and headed toward the new location, hoping we wouldn't be late. We did, however, decide to stop at a convenience store for some snacks on our way.

Browsing the snacks, I saw some sandwich crackers. They were almost exactly like the little sleeves of sandwich crackers you can really buy--the ones with peanut butter sandwiched between two cheese crackers. The difference was, this was just one shrink-wrapped cheese cracker-sandwich, and it was the size of an actual sandwich. I found this unusual size so odd, and for some reason was determined to try one, so I picked it up to buy it.

We stood in line at the checkout, and it seems there was some interaction with the people there, but I can't remember it in detail. I paid for my giant cracker and was headed out the door. I looked back over my shoulder and saw the next customer in line after me had been none other than Pluto, the animated Disney dog. (This was literally the animated version, not the costumed version from Disney World.) He was on his hind legs, propped against the counter, dropping his items onto it from his mouth.

This struck me as an incredibly strange sight to behold, so I woke up.

Coloring Book Critics


I was in some sort of department store, possibly a Target, and I saw Richard and Jessica. We stood around chatting for a bit. Their daughter, Cailey (3), was not with them, and I just assumed that they had left her with someone and not brought her to the store.

But then Cailey came running down the aisle, crying. She jumped into her mom's arms saying, "I did a bad thing! I did a bad thing!" We were all baffled and alarmed. We finally got her to tell us the "bad thing", which was simply that she had bumped into a little boy and knocked him down. No harm done, but for some reason it had really freaked her out.

Then we took Cailey back to where she had been when this happened. It turns out that in the back of this Target there was a storage room where a lady was keeping watch over several young children. It looked more or less like a kindergarten class. Apparently this was an area where parents could leave their kids while they shopped or something. The "teacher" or "babysitter" (or whatever she was) explained further to us what had happened, and that it was all an accident and no one was hurt.

Then I remember being in the checkout line. Instead of tabloid magazines, the checkout was stocked with a variety of coloring books. As we waited in line, Richard and I were looking through them to pass the time.

One of them had a "Little Red Riding Hood" theme. The cover featured very atrocious, amateurish artwork. The image featured Riding Hood in the foreground, and in the woods behind her two wolves were fighting.

Richard pointed to the wolves and sarcastically observed, "That is the best artwork you will ever see of two wolves fighting."

I agreed with equal mock enthusiasm. Then Richard picked up the book and flipped through it. Shocked, he soon said, "But this on the other hand really does look pretty cool!"

He handed me the coloring book, and the interior art was definitely much more skilled than that on the cover. But the picture he pointed out to me was of a wolf eating rabbits, and it was kind of creepy to me that it would be in a child's coloring book.