Saturday, July 31, 2010

Improvising Vampires, Editing Cartoons & Jenn & Bueno Dolls


In real life a couple of friends and I are taking a summer improv comedy class at a local college. The first few classes have been a lot of fun. In my dream, we were at one of those classes. We had the same teachers, but there were more students than there really are. Also, there were a couple of the members of the actual improv troop from which this class spawned.

In one of the exercises we did, the first coupe of people to start the scene were acting like they were in some sort of creepy house, or perhaps a haunted house, or something long those lines. When I saw an opportunity, I chose to jump into the scene acting like a vampire who secretly lived in the house. Only I chose to be a very effete vampire with a "Paul Lynde" sort of voice. I wasn't interested in hurting them, but I was so glad to have company.

For some reason this really worked well. People laughed and I felt good about it. There was another exercise in which I had to wear a blonde wig for my character. I tried to create a silly girl character, but didn't feel like I did as well with it as I could have.

There was another dream, perhaps a later part of this one. I staying in a house with another family. The grandfather of the family was supposedly a famous cartoonist of a newspaper strip. (As far as I can remember, the strip itself was fictional.)

He gave me the original art for one of the strips. For some reason, I had to censor or change what was in the final panel. I remember being in the floor, whiting out part of his original art, and I felt horrible about it. One of the cartoonist's grandchildren came in the room and asked why I was doing this. I told him I was going to hang the art in my apartment, but my apartment was smaller than this house, so I had to reduce the size of the art in the last panel so it wouldn't look cluttered. And this made perfect sense to me.

Suddenly Bill O'Reilly (??!!??!!??!!??) came into the room. He told me I was a "patriot" because thousands of people everywhere enjoyed my "Jennifer & Bueno" cartoons. I tried to explain to him that he was wrong; that only the tiniest handful of people anywhere knew who Jennifer & Bueno were (reality). He wouldn't listen to it.

He went on to describe how hundreds of Jennifer and Bueno dolls had been shipped out to our troops overseas to boost morale. As he explained this, I was seeing in my mind's eye, like a video clip, a bunch of Barbie-sized Jennifer dolls and little Bueno figures to go with them. It was so cool that they existed, but I wondered how they got made without me knowing it.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

My New Assistant


I was with Erin from The Office TV show. Apparently she was applying to be my "assistant" (I don't have the sort of job or lifestyle where I need a personal assistant). She was spending a lot of time with me, so, naturally, we ended up making out a lot.

Ultimately she got the job. We were sitting in an office waiting for official papers for her to sign. In the meantime, she began going through some of my "files". My "files" were simply pages and pages of my doodles and sketches (for anyone reading this who doesn't follow my other blogs, I'm an amateur cartoonist). She began to harshly but constructively criticize what she considered the weak parts of the drawings.

I respected her for not just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear. When I told her that, it was obvious it hadn't even occurred to her that she might have said anything different. We started to make out some more.

Suddenly this was all taking place in a large break area with several snack and drink machines. One of them was decorated with promotional art of some professional wrestler. I put money in it to get a drink and nothing happened, so I was trying to get my change back.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Wizards at a Ren Faire


Some type of festival, probably a Renaissance Faire, was apparently being held at a park. The area was filled with tents and pavilions full of people. At one pavilion I saw a group of three or four men and one woman, all dressed in bright, medieval-type clothing. I came to find out they were all wizards.

These wizards were very rude and boisterous. I soon came to learn that they planned to use their magic to destroy everything at this festival, just for fun.

I spent the rest of the time in the dream trying to warn other people. A few took me seriously, and tried to help me mount some kind of counterstrike against the wizards, though we didn't know really what we could do.

All my memories of this are pretty vague. In the final scene I remember the motley crew of people I'd gathered with me were now approaching the tent where the wizards were staying.

Disturbing "Back to the Future" Ride


My friends and I were supposedly at Universal Studios, Florida. The "Back to the Future" ride was still there (it's one of my favorite rides ever, and I still can't believe it doesn't exist anymore). In my dream, the ride was a whole different experience.

A handful of people were selected from the line to enter the ride each time. Once you entered, you followed a realistic holographic projection of Marty McFly as he gave your a tour of Hill Valley.

On my "tour", I specifically remember us walking through the empty halls of a high school. Marty was reminiscing about the time he spent attending this school.

Suddenly, Biff Tannen, also a hologram, appeared and started chasing Marty and the rest of us. We just had to run on foot, trying to escape him. Without warning, Biff, still just a projection, changed into an over-sized head which continued to float after us.

It was rather freaky being pursued by a giant, jeering, flying head. A couple of times I can even remember it bumping against my back. I was afraid it might bite.

The next thing I know, I was all by myself, running through the neighborhood my parents live in now. Even though it seemed I was no longer on the "ride", I kept looking out for that giant Biff head. I was very nervous.

Eventually I entered into a large room full of people sitting in chairs. It looked sort of like a college classroom. I recognized this to be the area where you exited the "Back to the Future" ride at the end. One of the people in the room was Lady GaGa.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Chocolate Vanilla Wafers and Fires


I was in some type of restaurant. Olive Schnook (Kristin Chenoweth's character from the defunct TV show, Pushing Daisies) was with me. She was mixing up a huge batch of banana pudding, and it looked really good.

She asked me if I liked vanilla wafers, and I assured her I did. She poured a few boxes of them into a pan and told me I could it as many as I wanted, because she had extra. I began snacking on a few, and then she asked me if I liked "chocolate vanilla wafers". I told her I'd never heard of them, but I'd like to try them.

They weren't anything like regular vanilla wafers. They were little chocolate cookies that were crunchy on the outside, but had moist, creamy chocolate in the center (more like an icing, really). They were so delicious! I felt like I could have eaten a hundred.

The next thing I know, I was riding with a small group of people, mostly friends and family, up to the house my cousin used to live in when he was growing up. We were apparently all staying there overnight.

I ended up assigned to a room with Chely Wright, the obscure country singer who made headlines a few months ago for "coming out" . There was only one, full size bed in our room. She explained to me that she didn't like the fact that we had to share a bed, because I was a man.

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth as I got ready for bed. My cousin was brushing his as well, though he seemed to be close to the age he was back when he actually lived in that house. I specifically remember noticing that my toothbrush was my normal one, and not the little travel-size one I usually have when spending the night somewhere.

I went back to the room I was sharing with Chely Wright, and now the bed in the room had an odd mattress. It was a giant "U" shape, having just an empty area in the middle. She explained that we could each sleep on one side now, without touching in the middle part. The bed was as physically awkward and uncomfortable as the entire situation.

At some point I got up and looked out the window. There was a small brush fire that seemed to be growing rapidly and approaching the house. I alerted everyone that we should call 911.

My aunt soon said she had called for help, but she didn't seem very concerned at all about the possibility of her house catching fire. She went into the bedroom I had been in to look out the window and see the flames for herself. They were indeed increasing in severity and proximity. She just lay down on that pitiful U-shaped bed and went to sleep.

The rest of us were trying to gather our things and exit the house in case it caught fire before the fire department arrived.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Comics and Outdoor Game Shows


I was in a comic book store, though it was quite a bit larger than your average such store. In real life I have not kept up with regular, monthly comics in a few years, though I used to avidly do so. In my dream, I discovered the owner of this comic shop had still been putting aside all the comic titles I had requested each and every month. I had a box stacked high with comics!

Obviously there was no way I could afford to buy these, but I felt so guilty that I wanted to at least buy a few, even though I don't regularly collect anymore. So I picked out a handful that seemed to be of the most interest to me and got them.

Leaving the store, I next remember being in a random, open field. My friend Richard was there, and he was hosting a game show! There was a semi-circle of maybe eight or ten podiums, not unlike those the Jeopardy contestants stand behind. Each podium was populated by a different person, most of whom I did not recognize, though Richard's wife, Jessica, was among them.

There was no audience for this game show, as it was simply being done for fun (I didn't question why, then, Richard was needed to "host" it). Richard urged me to join in, but for some reason I just wasn't in the mood to play a game and couldn't be swayed.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Orange Creature and Gorilla-Men


It was night and I was in the mostly-empty parking lot of what looked like a cross between a church and a hotel. Two toddler boys were riding their tricycle and Big Wheel around in the street. I, along with other onlookers, were concerned for their safety in the traffic.

The Reverend Al Sharpton was leading a group in the parking lot who protested that the little boys had every right to ride in the streets if they wanted to. At some point I got on a bike of some kind and followed them down the street. They led me down a hill and into another parking lot.

From here we entered a building, and the scene changes. Now this building is like the home of a young family, a mom, dad, and one of the little boys that had been riding in the street. Upon entering the house with them, we discovered that the place had been ransacked.

Naturally the family was very shaken and upset. They immediately began searching the damage as though looking for something specific, though I can't recall what. I was helping them look, and in so doing I walked into an adjacent room.

I couldn't find the lights for the room, and it was pitch dark. I tried to fumble around as best I could with the light coming in from the door I'd left open behind me.

Suddenly I stepped on something that felt very squishy and organic. It let out a horrible, inhuman moaning sound. Sort of like a cross between a calf and a cat. I looked down, and in the limited available light I saw a deformed creature, about the size of a large-ish dog. It's limbs were at awkward angles and it was covered in patches of orange hair. It had a generally slimy and puss-covered appearance.

For some reason the combination of the inhuman sound and the freakish visage disturbed me to the point of waking.

A second dream felt like watching a movie, though I was actively taking part in it. I was in a fancy, ornate theater (the old-fashioned performance kind, not the modern-day movie cinema or concert hall). The place was overrun with gorilla-like creatures. I suppose they were similar in appearance to the Planet of the Apes characters, though they were a little more "gorilla" and a little less "human".

These ape-like creatures were very good, but were being attacked by humans in the theater, trying to round them up. I was a part of the random theater patrons who sympathized with the gorilla-men.

I vaguely remember a struggle between the opposing forces. The one clear scene I remember is two of the human bad guys, a man and woman, went fleeing down a corridor. A large silverback burst through an adjoining wall and soon returned with their unconscious bodies slung over his shoulders.

About the time it seemed the gorilla-men had won, a businessman walked in through a side door and asked for everyone's attention. He led all of us regular human onlookers into a conference room where he made known that he had a special announcement for us.

At this point, film director James Cameron entered the room. He told us we'd all just experienced the next generation in movies--FULLY IMMERSIVE ACTION MOVIES! He was trying to explain to us why it was better than 3D when my alarm went off.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Little Lost Kitten


I vaguely remember being back in school, in a classroom. Some friends were in the class too, but we had assigned seats so we weren't sitting together. The teacher's lecture was so boring that I kept drifting off. I even remember putting my head down on my desk.

Next I was walking through some woods when I found a little white kitten. It was white, but very dirty and matted from being lost in the woods. The kitten followed me home and I took it inside, where I very conveniently had a bunch of canned cat food in my kitchen

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Updating Old Comics


For anyone who doesn't follow my cartoons and comics but ends up reading this dream, I'm afraid it will be of little use. But I'm transcribing it anyway, because I enjoyed it.

In real life, I have sadly not used my characters, Fatback & Skinny McLean, with much frequency since the early 2000's. Prior to that, they had been a regular staple in some form or other for years. In my dream last night, I had decided to bring them back in a big way.

I began be re-posting a few classics from years past (though most of the "classics" in the dream were just fictional). One of them was a two or three page short comic. I can't remember the topic, but I remember the final panel (a large, 3/4 page panel) featured an analog television set behind Fatback. Seeing that, it struck me just how much has changed in society in only the past few years.

I decided, before re-posting this old cartoon, that I would enhance it a bit. With Photoshop, I would add art to the currently blank TV screen, to make it look like something was airing. I decided to make it look like a commercial for HD TV:, COMING SOON! I noticed the old TV was also visible in an earlier panel in the comic and added a commercial on the screen warning about Y2K!

For some reason my dream-self was very amused by going back after the fact and adding "prophetic" technology references to the old comic.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Mostly Just Lost or Problem Solving


I was in some sort of big Wal-Mart-esque department store. I remember one aisle with a large shelf full of poster-sized frames. Someone asked me to make room on that shelf for some other items that had arrived, but to keep the frames on display, as well. So the dream was simply me trying to figure out how to make room for both. I finally found a shelf at the end of the aisle where I had room to carefully slide in the poster frames. Problem solved.

Then I remember it was time for my lunch break at work and for some reason my dad had come to pick me up and take me to lunch somewhere on this particular day. We drove for quite a while, going somewhere out of town. Every time I asked where we were going, he told me it was a surprise.

Finally, we got to some new pizza place in a city several miles from where I work. I thought it was a nice thought, but after the drive my lunch break was already almost over, and we hadn't even gone into the restaurant yet. My dad just assured me he'd explain it to my boss and all would be well.

I have vague memories of being inside the pizza place at least for a moment, but next real memory is being back in the car with dad. Now we were driving through heavily wooded areas. I think we were lost. We ended up stopping at some place in the woods that had a circle of winding dirt trails, and I assumed it was a place where they must have dirt bike races or something of the like (where this got into my subconscious for tonight I'll never know).

There was one other dream that my late grandfather and I were watching VHS tapes of old cartoons I'd found. (Not based on any real-life memory, but just a very random dream sequence.)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Glasses, Russian Remakes, & Donations


I was in a thrift store of some sort looking at a shelf displaying drinking glasses. Most of them were of the sort of licensed character glasses that fast food restaurants often offered in conjunction with kid friendly movies back in the 70's and 80's.

Some of the glasses were the actual "Camp Snoopy" Peanuts glasses that McDonald's really offered at one time, several of which I still own in my Peanuts collection. The ones in the dream featured the same artwork, but different phrases being said by the characters.

There was a mug on this shelf featuring a very amateurishly painted Christmas scene. Closer inspection revealed that it was not just printed on the glass, but had literally been painted there by hand. A signature on the art revealed it had been done by a passing acquaintance/friend from high school (who was never known to be an artist), who I now know only as an acquaintance on Twitter. I decided to buy this mug so I could show it to him on Twitter.

Somehow I was suddenly watching a small, analog TV set inside this store, and it was showing what looked a lot like a scene from the first Back to the Future movie. The scene was the one in which Doc and Marty are testing the DeLorean in the mall parking lot, only closer inspection revealed it was different actors, a cheap set, and the whole thing was in Russian!

Someone explained to me that they were producing a Russian remake of Back to the Future, and this was early preview footage.

Somehow from here we reach a point where I am in contact with an African American woman on the Internet. She's made it clear that she wants to be artificially inseminated with my child. I have no idea how or why she chose me. I also have no idea why I agreed to do it!

I scheduled a time to meet the girl to further discuss things. I drove to a parking lot and saw her getting out of her car. There were two young kids in the back of it! I wondered why she was so desperate to be artificially inseminated if she had two kids already!

There was some other dream, or part of this dream, in which Kate Winslet made another cameo dream appearance (this one being unfortunately G-rated). I can't remember everything, but we were sitting at the foot of a bed, talking, waiting for some person to come into the room.

Monday, July 5, 2010

That Young Actress


There was a new movie based on a graphic novel I had read. I can't remember much about the plot, but I vaguely recall watching the movie with my dad in a theater and being disappointed that it didn't capture the spirit of the book at all.

A fictional young adult actress starred in the movie. She was really cute--slender and pale with short dark hair with pink streaks in it. In the dream, I "remembered" that she had gotten her start as a character on some show for "tweens" such as what the Disney Channel airs all the time these days.

It turns out the actress was attending our screening, because I saw her a few rows back from us. Nothing ever came of this, it was simply incidental.

My next memory is that I received a post card in the mail. It was from that actress. She had written a brief message on the back of the card that was flirtatious in nature and suggested she was sorry I hadn't approached her at the theater that night.

I wrote her back with some plans for meeting her again at the next screening of the movie. I remember going back to the theater and watching the movie (I think I'd brought one of my friends who wanted to see the movie.) I looked all over the theater for the girl, and couldn't find her.

After the movie, we went to some hold-in-the-wall type of restaurant near the theater. A lot of people were milling about on the sidewalk outside the eatery. I kept hoping to find the girl out there.

Eventually I spotted her. She was wearing some type of sundress and striped stockings and other accessories--a very unusual outfit. Her pink highlights were now blue. I kept trying to approach her now that I'd seen her again, but she was surrounded by people and I could never get her attention.

Friday, July 2, 2010

On the Run From the Bad Man


I was in a room with a man who I understood to be a very bad person. I was in fear for my life. We were sort of having a stand-off with each other, but somehow I had ended up with his gun--a shotgun (I know nothing about guns). I was holding him at gunpoint as he stood in the corner of the room.

I instructed the bad man that I was going to leave the room and rejoin my friends now, and he was not to leave this room for 30 minutes after I left. If he left the room anytime before that, I would come back and kill him. He had to stay in that corner for exactly 30 minutes after I was gone or else!

I ran back to where my friends were and explained to them that we had exactly 30 minutes to escape before our enemy caught up to us. We all kept talking about getting "back to the island" before the man could stop us (obviously some kind of subconscious Lost reference).

A large part of the dream centered around everyone hurriedly packing their bags for a trip. I seemed to know we'd be traversing part of the ocean in little canoe-type vessels. I was a little intimidated about the journey, as well as about living on an island to hide from this guy.

I do specifically remember packing bath towels and my tooth brush.

There is a vague memory of travel of some sort, but my next clear memory is that we ended up in a very posh hotel. Out of our big group, Eric and Richard and I were checking into one room together. I kept explaining how I had thought we'd be roughing it on an island, and did not at all expect to find this nice hotel at the other end of our journey.

Then we saw the bad man stalking the hotel lobby and we knew our troubles were not over after all, though I can't remember anything after this point.