Saturday, May 31, 2008

Grocery Game *PLUS* Geisha Gang


I was playing a video game. It had a "cel shaded" appearance, and resembled an anime style. The rather thrilling concept was that a family went to the grocery store. You played as one member of a family (dad, mom, a young boy, a young girl, and an adolescent boy). The family split up inside the grocery store, and you had to make your character get as many items as he or she could possibly carry in their arms and take them back to the family grocery buggy. You got more points for the more things you could carry, and lost points for everything that you dropped once you'd picked it up.

I played as the adolescent boy character. The game decided to handicap me by putting my character on crutches. It was hard to make him carry anything while walking on said crutches, but I managed a couple of bottles and a box of something. Then I saw a rack full of long fluorescent bulbs. I tried to pick up as many of them as I could to take back to the buggy.

When I tried to release them into the buggy, most of the bulbs dropped and shattered, and I lost tons of points. That's all I remember of playing this ridiculous video game in this ridiculous dream.


I was hanging out at Eric's apartment (though it was a fictional apartment in the dream). He was watching TV and told me there was pizza in the fridge. I went and looked, only to find that the pizza was actually in the freezer. I set it out and turned on the oven to preheat.

While I waited for this, I went to see what was on the TV. It was some kind of historical documentary. (Or was supposed to be historical, though you're soon to see my dreams apparently have a strange sense of "historical"!)

In the dramatic reenactment currently on the screen, a trio of geisha were creeping along the top of a hill, shrouded by trees. They were looking down on a resting army, and were about to fire on them with bows and arrows. Suddenly, a female centaur took them by surprise from behind. The special effects in this "documentary" weren't very expensive, so the female centaur looked very fake. But the human half was completely naked.

Lady Centraur wrested a bow and arrow from one of the geisha and tried to fire it at them, but it turns out she was very clumsy with a bow, and the arrow just fell to the ground. Then the geisha took out some kind of ropes or netting and began trying to restrain the centaur, and the battle was on...

Friday, May 30, 2008

This American Sling Blade Castle


First off, I wanted to see an episode of the This American Life TV show specifically because of the story that was going to be on it. (The topic of the story is lost to me now.) In real life I've never even seen the TV show, I'm only familiar with the radio version. But in the dream I was preparing to watch an episode.

Then I remember being in the driveway of some house talking to my dad, and both my uncles from my mom's side of the family. We were discussing the movie Sling Blade. Someone mentioned that a local theater was going to be showing it soon, and we all decided to attend. It seems as soon as we made the decision, we were conveniently there.

The theater looked like a medieval castle in every way. Someone had converted one of the rooms into a fairly modern-looking, if a bit dilapidated, theater. We were nearly the only people in the theater as we sat waiting for the show to begin.

For some reason I left my seat at this point--perhaps to use the restroom or to go get concessions. I remember wandering through the many corridors and staircases of the castle, trying to find whatever it was I had gone for. I passed a lot of strange characters on my way.

One huge, bolted doorway had two identical, ominous guards in front of it. They stood probably about seven feet tall and stood back to back holding battle axes of some kind. All of their features were obscured by the elaborate armor and clothing they were wearing, but I distinctly felt they were not human (they reminded me vaguely of Jim Henson creatures, and would not have looked out of place in The Dark Crystal or some such, only they were undeniably real). I gave them a wide berth and passed as quickly as I could. They made no movement, but I knew I was watched.

Then I came into a large, open area of the castle that was decorated like some sort of lobby. A smallish, dwarf-like person ran up to me. She was wearing medieval clothing and had a shaved head. Her face reminded me of someone I once worked with. This dwarf character was very jovial and energetic, and yet I seemed to feel only discomfort and menace in her presence (a feeling entirely connected to this character and not to the old coworker whose face I was reminded of).

Alarm goes off.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Save the Birds, Get the Tickets!


I was in the front yard of a house that looked kind of like my grandmother's. There were other people around, but I don't know who they were. There was a huge nest up in one of the trees with baby vultures in it. The mother was feeding them and then flew away. They all seemed to be exceptionally large creatures.

Suddenly, I was confronted by a man who looked a little bit like Robert Wagner (specifically as he looked as "Number 2" in the Austin Powers movies--which oddly I haven't seen in ages). He was urgently telling me that these vultures were an extremely rare and endangered species--I believe he was even referring to them as literally being survivors from the prehistoric era. He gave me the name of some animal welfare organization and told me I needed to go find a phone and call them immediately to come take care of these birds before something happened to them.

I don't know what happened to cell phones in my dream, because I immediately went on a long search for a phone to place this call. I went around to the back yard and found there was a large deck full of people. It was dusk now, and the deck was lit with lanterns. Many of the people on the deck were from the U.S. version of The Office TV show.

I came up to Michael Scott and Phyllis. Phyllis was excited because she'd found where we could order tickets to live tapings of The Office. (The impossibility of the fact that this information was being relayed by a character who exists on that show--which is not filmed before an audience to begin with--was lost on me in the dream).

Michael was very excited by the prospect, and he was twice as excited when he found out that it was something I would like to do as well. He immediately told Phyllis to go order the tickets for everyone in the office, and for me. She told him they taped on multiple days of the week, and asked which day she should get the tickets for. He spoke to her like she was stupid and told her get tickets for EVERY TAPING. She went away to order the tickets, looking characteristically confused and hurt.

The last thing I remember is I saw Phyllis again apart from Michael. I asked her about the tickets and she told me she had gotten them, but she thought tickets for every taping was ridiculous. So she just took it upon herself to pick the one taping we should attend, and she was so proud of that fact.

It seems there was also something about waiting in line for an amusement park ride, but that's about all I recall.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Elevator to the Brownies


I was in an elevator going up. There were two overweight young women in the compartment with me. One of them seemed perfectly nice and normal, even familiar, to me (though I'm fairly sure she was fictional), while the other was particularly annoying and unattractive.

We exited the elevator into a room that looked like some sort of empty office. There were windows that looked out over a city skyline on a pretty day. We were obviously on a very high floor. Suddenly I saw an arrangement of brownies and Christmas cookies that I somehow knew had been prepared by one of my bosses at work.

Next thing I remember my bosses (a couple) and the other very few employees I work with (as well as some past employees I no longer work with) were in the room. My boss asked me to call Olive Garden and make reservations for all of us to eat lunch there later.

The "telephone" was a very strange, complicated contraption sitting on a nearby desk. It was covered in flashing lights, buttons, coiled wiring, etc. There was an elderly man in coveralls who tried to explain to me how to use it. There was some convoluted series of actions you had to take which would make several of the colored lights come on in a specific order, and then you'd have successfully placed a call to your intended party.

I tried the process, but every time I'd get about halfway through it, someone would come up to me and tell me something or ask me something, and I'd lose my train of thought and have to start over in exasperation.

Then I was distracted by the more annoying of the two overweight girls from the elevator. She had some kind of small bruise on her arm, and she was being very dramatic about it to everyone. She was crying and claiming she'd been injured in the elevator, and she was going to sue. Everyone including myself was baffled that she'd carry on so over such a small bruise. Somehow people expected me to go and calm her down. I didn't want to. I didn't know her, and I thought she was only seeking attention, which I didn't want to reward with just that. And yet it seems like I did go and say something calm to her, but my memory is vague.

Now my boss told me to hand out the brownies and Christmas cookies to everyone there. I went over to the place where I'd seen them before to find most of them were now gone and the ones that remained were partially eaten.

Suddenly I noticed the room we'd been in this whole time looked like a department store. The bag the brownies had been in was sitting on top of a shelf of folded T-shirts.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Lucy Survives a Tornado


To begin with, I was looking out a window down at an area that had been devastated by a tornado. Even though I was looking at it through a window, it was more like I was watching a report on TV, because I could hear a voice describing the damage, and the "camera" would even "zoom in" on certain things.

The voice described how the place hardest hit by the tornado had been a certain bus station. There was, of course, much debris, but I noticed that the debris looked unusually tidy for tornado damage--it almost looked like a construction site. The voice pointed out that the one thing from the "bus station" that had survived was "this TV set"--and my attention was drawn immediately to a lone shelf with a small TV on top of it.

The TV looked like an old 1950's model, and it was still playing an episode of I Love Lucy. I watched it for a few moments, the signal occasionally interrupted with static. There was something really eerie about this TV sitting out here alone, blaring an old comedy show, in the midst of the tornado's destruction.

Then my attention was drawn a little further away, to where there was a cemetery (now I was walking through the place, no longer peering through a window or a TV). The tornado hadn't done much damage to the cemetery. In fact, it seemed especially lush and green. There was a garden hose lying on the ground and it was slowly trickling water. The water made a little trail that flowed far ahead down the slope of the lawn.

I stepped in this flowing puddle and suddenly felt chills go all up and down my body. I felt like there were ghosts here. And I woke up.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Supermarket Meeting *PLUS* Squirrely Simpsons


Two shortish ones from last night: First I was driving around and a girl I used to work with/be friends with called me on my cell phone out of nowhere. She was at a grocery store that I happened to be driving past, so I stopped by to talk to her. We talked in the parking lot for a while, and then went inside to buy our respective groceries. Her husband and kid were there somewhere in the store as well, but I don't remember actually seeing them. At some point I woke up from this one in the middle of the night.

The second dream I actually had in-between snooze alarms this morning. And it's weird, because basically it's just a fictional episode of The Simpsons! (It was very short but gets a little long when trying to accurately describe it in text.) It began when I bought a Simpsons DVD that claimed to be "The Season Finale!". It was just a single epsiode on one DVD. The DVD case was pink, and it came with a sculpted, plastic base in which you could set the DVD case for display.

The episode supposedly had something to do with the Simpsons getting a pet squirrel, so the plastic base had an actual figure of the squirrel on it. It was arranged so that when you placed the DVD case into the base, the cover artwork of the Simpsons family blended with the actual squirrel sculpture to make one scene.

I watched the episode and can remember a little bit of it. Bart and Lisa were in the living room. Lisa was on the couch and Bart was standing in front of her. He had a bowl of peas, and he was using his spoon to fling peas at Lisa. She finally became exasperated and yelled for him to stop, and he did. At this point you heard Homer saying, "Awwww, I didn't want him to stop!" and the camera panned out to reveal Homer was sitting on the couch next to Lisa. He was covered in stray peas from Bart's flinging, and was hungrily eating them.

Then Homer and Bart and Lisa were all out in the woods. The aforementioned squirrel was with Lisa, and she was trying to release it into the wild or something, but it wouldn't go. Then suddenly a flock of Canadian geese landed in front of them and started to sort of attack them. Homer produced a shotgun and began to shoot at the geese. After a single shot, Lisa said, "Dad, don't SHOOT them!". Homer said something like, "Sorry, honey, I've had a taste of it now, and there's no going back!" and resumed firing.

This is about the point when my alarm went off again.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Daney Hill is the Winner!


I only remember one vague little picture from the dream. There was a man who was more or less like a carnival barker. He reminded me of Martin Short. He had a little stand set up with lots of small stuffed animals and cheap plastic toys on it. Essentially it was like those carnival booths where you play games of chance to win things.

I remember hearing him scream out, "Daney Hill is the WINNER!" and he held up a plush Snoopy from the arrangement of toys.

At this point, for seemingly no reason, I woke up. In a haze I tried to figure out what "Daney Hill" meant, and then, before drifting back to sleep, I assumed he really meant "Daisy Hill", because in the Peanuts comic strip, Snoopy originally came from the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm.

Ant Live With 'Em, Ant Live Without 'Em


In real life, the kitchen in my apartment seems to be invaded by ants for a brief period during each summer. Usually it's late summer, but now that the weather's getting warmer I already find myself dreading in the back of my mind my inevitable, annual visit. So that plays into the following dream:

I was living in an apartment that was for the most part like my actual one, only I had two roommates who both happened to be African American. I came home one day and one of them informed me that the ants were in the kitchen again. He was in the process of laying out some poison bait for them. I was astounded to see it wasn't just the usual little trail of them, but massive numbers of them marching up and down every wall in the kitchen.

I meant to help the roommate with the poison, but for some reason I had to go to the mailbox first. At the mailbox I saw a girl I used to know some time ago. She began telling me how she and some of her friends had tried to break the world record for engaging in some certain type of aerobic exercise for the longest time, and with the largest group of people.

She took out a newspaper and showed me a story that had been done about it, and several black and white photographs that had been taken at the event. You could see dozens of people, mostly girls but a few men, wearing leotards and other forms of stereotypical workout gear. She had circled one barely visible person in the background of a picture with a Sharpie. She informed me that was her, and it was the only picture she was in.

After this conversation, I returned to my apartment. I took out a can of bug spray, and began spraying all the trails of ants along the walls.

Doves and Cups


I was driving my car around town one afternoon and ended up in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant (it might have been a Jack's). I remember thinking it odd that the restaurant was fairly far off of the main road and separated from other businesses. Then the next thing I recall is being back on the road again.

Suddenly a flock of doves (the gray kind) flew out from some high grass on the side of the road directly into my path. I hit at least two or three of them. One of those hit was partially splattered on windshield, even though I hadn't been moving particularly fast. I felt really bad that I'd hit the birds, and also grossed out by the squished one.

From there I went to my parents' house, which in this case was a fictitious location. I parked in their garage and was going to figure out how to gingerly remove the bird from the windshield. My dad was in the garage, and we discussed what had happened. He had said he "knew" it was going to happen. I don't know what that meant, but he just knew it had been likely I was going to hit some birds.

As we talked, I looked over to a particular shelf in the garage that held a large number of those 32 oz. plastic collector's cups that fast food restaurants often have as promotional tie-ins with movies and such. In the dream I could "remember" getting various ones of the cups over the years. One of them I specifically remember featured Ms. Krabappel from the Simpsons.