Lost

MORNING OF NOVEMBER 25, 2008

What a frustrating night of dreaming! It all began when I decided I wanted to go walk at the park. In my mind it was the park I really go to sometimes, but in the dream it was in a different location, though still about the same amount of drive to get there (20-25 minutes).

I thought I "remembered" an ex-girlfriend once showing me a "long" way to get to the park, driving off the main road through little neighborhoods,etc. For some reason I wanted to try this way again to see if I could remember it. I eventually got lost meandering through streets of some fairly ghetto-ish neighborhoods.

Even though I don't remember anything happening to my car, I suddenly remember hitching a ride with some middle aged lady in her 1970's model car (I rode in the back). We eventually passed an old house and I "remembered" that the people in there had once given me directions to the park, so I told her to let me off there. She nearly crashed her car into the car parked in the driveway when she turned off the main road. I got out, a little relieved to be away from her.

Inside there house there was an another middle aged woman,this one somewhat overweight. In appearance she was like a combination of my great grandmother and my high school art teacher (both deceased). In personality...well, she just sat in a chair and was very loud and very southern. There was at least one other person in the house, I think maybe her daughter, but I'm not really sure. She told me how to get to the park from her house, and indeed it was just a few blocks more.

Exiting her house, it was my own car parked in the driveway as though I had not hitchhiked here (this was of no notice in the dream). I decided to leave my car here and just walk the extra few blocks to the park. After I had walked for what seemed like a few minutes, I realized it was father than I thought. And by now it was already starting to get dark out. Given that this was, from the looks of it, quite a bad part of town, I thought I probably didn't want to walk all the way back to my car in the dark when I was through at the park.

I began walking back to where I had left my car, so I could just drive it back to the park. But I got lost again while I walked. I ended up at a university campus, which I think was supposed to be Jacksonville State University, which is actually near here, but everything about the appearance and location was different.

I entered one of the buildings and was wandering the halls. I quickly got lost in them (noticing a pattern here?). There were people all around, some staff but mostly students. It seems most of the students I saw milling the halls were girls, though it had to be co-ed because I do remember a few guys.

I met one mousy blonde girl who told me she knew how to get to the park, but she acted so secretive about it! She'd have been reasonably attractive, except she just seemed incredibly paranoid and generally off her nut. I followed her outside into this small area of overgrown lawn contained by a rusty chain link fence. The enclosed space felt claustrophobic with ugly shrubbery amid the partially naked trees of late fall, and the ground was thick and slippery with layers of crunchy brown leaves. The entire area was not very well lit.

The crazy girl now produced a wire cutter and began furtively cutting a hole in the chain link fence. As she worked she was explaining to me (in a whisper) how I could escape through the hole, and then go a certain direction and end up at the park before long. I felt really uncomfortable watching her destroy the fence, and her paranoia was beginning to be contagious. When she wasn't paying attention I walked away from her and easily climbed over another part of the fence, which was barely more than waist high.

A little more walking and I eventually came to what I thought was the park. But it wasn't the park at all. It was like a jogging track surrounded by bleachers and a couple of concession stands. Since it was now dark, everything was lit by huge floodlights. I felt only disappointment that I'd gone through all this just to find the wrong place, but I walked a lap or two anyway. Country music was playing over speakers in the background.

It didn't take me long to leave this place. Now I had to try to find my car again, but it was really late, and I was still in the shady neighborhoods. I kept wandering, so very lost, and was getting a little scared.

This is when I woke and felt absolutely exhausted with frustration from all the constant searching/getting lost. Not a refreshing night's sleep, but, it would seem, almost certainly riddled with psychological allegory.