My Dinner With Hellboy

MORNING OF APRIL 23, 2010

Several friends and I attended a live theater production at a local college. The play starred students and unknowns, except for the fact that Ron Perlman was the lead actor.

The play had the classic feel of an amateur play. The odd thing was, there was a movie screen in the background playing a professionally produced movie of the same play starring the same actors. The movie was played silently in sync with the live performance. It's hard to describe it here, but it was really surreal to watch.

The final act of the play/movie/thing featured a bluegrass band. All the musicians appeared to have cerebral palsy, though they played with utmost skill. It was amazing.

After the play I was in the lobby at the entrance to the theater. For some reason I was putting on my shoes. Ron Perlman was sitting in the lobby as well, only now he was in the fully makeup and costume of the "Hellboy" character (who he obviously played in those movies).

I spoke to him and he suggested we go get a bite to eat because he was starving. So Ron Perlman and my group of friends went to a diner. Only it looked like my grandmother's living room with restaurant-style booths along the walls. In addition to my friends, my grandmother and my late grandfather were in the room.

Ron Perlman-as-Hellboy and I were sitting in a booth eating something. He was supposed to be Ron, but he was acting like Hellboy. He explained how he was a devout Catholic and his priest hated the fact that he played the character Hellboy, since he was a demon. He said no matter how hard he tried to explain that Hellboy was 1) fictional and 2) a GOOD guy, his priest didn't get it.

My friend Eric, sitting somewhere in the background, chimed in with something like, "That's stupid! He likes cats and he saved that boy and his dog one time! How can be be bad?"

My late grandfather, who was lying flat on his back on the floor on a towel this whole time, laughed at that and I woke up.