Cheesy Morning Show

MORNING OF FEBRUARY 16, 2011

First I remember watching a few minutes of a fictional morning show that was supposedly produced by some local TV station. The production value, as well as the on air talent, was abysmal.

Two men, about 40-ish, were the hosts. One of them was fairly tall and nondescript. The other was of average height, but he had the most ridiculous style and appearance. If you can imagine a weird combination of Ron Burgundy from Anchorman and Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation, then you have some idea.

Anyway, these two men were just sanding in front of a plain white background, talking about their latest topic. Apparently it had been revealed that the city's water was not, in fact ".02 percent" as had been reported, but was ".09 percent", which meant it was not safe to drink!

Before commercial break they teased the upcoming segment, which was about the new "fully body seatbelt". It showed a video clip of the weird host strapped into a car seat with multiple straps.

At this point I left the house, but for some reason I was driving my friend's car, alone. I was driving down a narrow, rural road with tall trees on either side. It seemed to be right at dawn, with the sky just starting to light up.

One area of the road was covered in a huge patch of dry pine straw needles. When I drove over it, the car began to skid as though it were ice! I believe I regained control, but I can't remember anything else.