MELON

MORNING OF APRIL 24, 2009

Richard and Jessica wanted to go camping and wanted me to go with them at last minute notice. I have nothing against camping per se, but but I didn't feel like going on this last minute trip. They were being annoyingly persistent.

All of this discussion was taking place on what looked like a campsite in a wooded area! Several other people were there and I think they were meant to be coworkers of Richard and Jessica's who were also going camping.

We were all seated around picnic tables, and Richard and Jessica announced we were having a drawing to see who would win a prize. Jessica held a deck of cards and everyone had to draw one. They cards all bore images relating to Star Wars. I don't remember what picture was on the first card I pulled, but Jessica made me put it back and draw another, and that one was a light saber.

It turns out the light saber cards were the winners. Everyone who had selected one of those won the prize, which was to attend the premier of the new Ghostbusters 3 movie (which, while rumored to have been green-lit, is a long, long way from actually premiering!)--right here in our area, no less, and with the full cast in attendance.

Richard told me the only way I could attend it was to go camping with them (I don't know what the logic behind that could have possibly been). As we talked, he was packing his stuff for the camping trip (while we were still out in the woods). He was lugging around a huge, heavy TV set. I asked if a small TV, or even a portable wouldn't be easier, and his reply was simply, "This one has a built-in DVR."

Then he told me he'd pay me if I'd join the crew of cameramen who were to film the Ghostbusters premiere, which he was apparently going to be in charge of. Whatever the pay was, it was some astronomical amount per hour--to film something I wanted to attend anyway--so I said yes.

Next it was the day of the premiere and we were preparing. I was helping Richard and some others set up a merchandise booth. It was full of merchandise relating to Mellow Mushroom, which is an excellent pizza chain in this region and a regular haunt of my pizza-obssessed self. There was an unbelievable array of Mellow Mushroom t-shirts, each with very different and wide-randing designs.

Eric showed up and asked me how much the shirts were. He figured that since we eat there so often, it only made sense we should finally have shirts about it. I told him we were just setting up and I didn't know the prices yet. Then Richard walked up and said, "Well, I'm getting this Mellow Mushroom hat!" He was holding a baseball cap that said "MELON" on the front--not Mellow, not Mushroom, but simply, MELON.

Then he decided that I needed the hat instead, because I "have a huge melon". It's true, very few hats do actually fit my head well. But I tried this one on and it fit very nicely, which is one of the last things I recall of any of this nonsense.