Chocolate Vanilla Wafers and Fires

MORNING OF JULY 23, 2010

I was in some type of restaurant. Olive Schnook (Kristin Chenoweth's character from the defunct TV show, Pushing Daisies) was with me. She was mixing up a huge batch of banana pudding, and it looked really good.

She asked me if I liked vanilla wafers, and I assured her I did. She poured a few boxes of them into a pan and told me I could it as many as I wanted, because she had extra. I began snacking on a few, and then she asked me if I liked "chocolate vanilla wafers". I told her I'd never heard of them, but I'd like to try them.

They weren't anything like regular vanilla wafers. They were little chocolate cookies that were crunchy on the outside, but had moist, creamy chocolate in the center (more like an icing, really). They were so delicious! I felt like I could have eaten a hundred.

The next thing I know, I was riding with a small group of people, mostly friends and family, up to the house my cousin used to live in when he was growing up. We were apparently all staying there overnight.

I ended up assigned to a room with Chely Wright, the obscure country singer who made headlines a few months ago for "coming out" . There was only one, full size bed in our room. She explained to me that she didn't like the fact that we had to share a bed, because I was a man.

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth as I got ready for bed. My cousin was brushing his as well, though he seemed to be close to the age he was back when he actually lived in that house. I specifically remember noticing that my toothbrush was my normal one, and not the little travel-size one I usually have when spending the night somewhere.

I went back to the room I was sharing with Chely Wright, and now the bed in the room had an odd mattress. It was a giant "U" shape, having just an empty area in the middle. She explained that we could each sleep on one side now, without touching in the middle part. The bed was as physically awkward and uncomfortable as the entire situation.

At some point I got up and looked out the window. There was a small brush fire that seemed to be growing rapidly and approaching the house. I alerted everyone that we should call 911.

My aunt soon said she had called for help, but she didn't seem very concerned at all about the possibility of her house catching fire. She went into the bedroom I had been in to look out the window and see the flames for herself. They were indeed increasing in severity and proximity. She just lay down on that pitiful U-shaped bed and went to sleep.

The rest of us were trying to gather our things and exit the house in case it caught fire before the fire department arrived.