Zombies by 2:00

MORNING OF JANUARY 23, 2012

I was in some kind of large, public area, like a mall. Everyone was panicking, because we knew that at a certain, exact time (say, 2:00 PM), zombies were going to come to "life" all over the world and start attacking.

Someone explained to me that the zombies that were in movies and TV shows are the ones that would be made real, and the only way to prevent the impending zombie apocalypse was to destroy every single copy of every zombie movie ever made. (I believe the concept was that the number of zombies in any given movie would somehow be transferred from each disc that contained them and placed in the real world.)

Several of us approached an otherwise empty warehouse or hangar in which carts full of DVDs had been brought. We immediately got to work destroying the offending discs, though for some reason we were trashing them individually instead of just mass-burning them or something. Randomly, one of the people near me during these efforts was Andy Richter. The two of us tried to make a video clip of ourselves breaking DVDs, because for some reason we thought it would be funny.

Before long everyone realized that trying to destroy every copy of every zombie movie ever made before 2:00 PM was an exercise in futility, and we resigned ourselves to our fate.

My next memory is that we were all outsides, walking down a trail in the woods. At this point we were aware that the zombie apocalypse was underway, though we didn't currently see any. Another troupe of survivors approached us from another trail that intersected ours. They explained to us that the zombies had been defeated and everything was safe once more! Behind them were several large carts, like the ones all the DVDs had been in before, only now they were all filled with zombie body parts.